When Moms Have a Winter Meltdown by Julie Arduini

Yesterday on Facebook I shared my random thoughts about what it’s like to be a mom in the northeast with multiple days off of school thanks to the weather.

My own experience is honestly not that bad. I write from home so I make my own schedule. Although I’m staying up later to write and enjoy my own television shows, I often do that as I love to soak in the quiet. My kids are older and we’re kind of a quiet family, so for the most part it’s just ranting over the disruption to routine. My precious routine.image courtesy photobucket

For those who live near palm trees, snow days and the subsequent cabin fever might be hard to understand.

If you follow moms on social media who live in a snowbelt, here’s why they might be going a little crazy this winter.

We are on cold day off from school #4 in a row, 10 or more total this year.

For those that don’t live with snow/cold and wonder why mom status updates from that region are getting angry, we need routine, and that’s a basic complaint. I have it easy and I get it. I make my own schedule and rely on few for the running of my household.

Imagine the moms who work outside the home and have young children. They need to make arrangements. They might be paying for childcare they didn‘t plan for in an economy where every penny counts. When the kids are home, they are bored. The bickering most likely escalates between siblings and when bored, they believe they’re hungry. Turn your back for a minute and suddenly a week’s worth of groceries is on a kid’s plate. Just because. There goes the budget. This I know from experience. I busted one of mine for having an obscene amount of junk on their plate purely out of boredom when they thought I wasn’t looking.

As an adult, and a woman, we need meaningful conversation. To be nurtured. Cleaning up extra spills, and if you have pets, their extra crap because they literally can’t perform outside because of the cold, is not nurturing. Before long, after 10+ snow days, four in a row, mind you, the moms get a glazed look in their eye when those cheap airfare commercials to Florida come on. They get through the sticky stuff on the counter by imagining their suitcase packed and their trip for one a done deal.

Here’s the thing, we’ll get that routine back and peace will be restored to the kingdom. While the darlings are at school, we’ll miss them and almost forget the winter drama.

Almost.·

Do you know a mom experiencing a winter like this? Ours is a bit harsher as far as days off because we don’t have delays. It’s all or nothing, and lately, it’s been nothing. It’s thrown everyone off to the point where my youngest isn’t even setting her alarm. Basically her attitude is, “Wake me when there is school.” Most nights before she goes to bed she already knows there isn’t going to be.

If you know someone with young children having a tough winter, you’d be surprised at how little the moms need to be encouraged and refreshed.

Here are things you can do to take the chill off their relentless winter:

• Get mom out of the house and listen to them. They are craving adult conversation and someone actively listening.
• Get their kids out of the house and let them release that energy. The kids are bored. Take them to a play place, whether a Kid museum or a fast food play area. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. If the temps aren’t crazy cold, take them outside and build a fort or have a snowball fight.
• Have money and no idea how to spend it? A high end way would be hire a cleaning company to come in and take care of mom’s job. With extra days off I assure you, there are more messes and many moms confessed, as have I, we’ve quit trying. The floors are tracked with snow gunk and we know with 2 1/2 feet outside, it’s not going anywhere. It feels like a losing battle. Living in a messier-than-usual house makes mom feel like a loser. Trust me, I know. Having someone come in will lift her spirits.

Other money ideas:

• Gift cards for groceries. I know our budget is off kilter because with the kids home more, we’ve gone through more food than I planned.
• Money for childchare. Again, with days off of school a lot of families have had to scramble/pay extra for childcare they weren’t planning on.
• Gift cards for movies, kid friendly museums, restaurants. Even if mom and kids go somewhere together, they are at least getting out of the house. That’s half the battle.

Once school is back in session, then its the teachers we need to remember. They are way off pace and especially with younger kids, will have to spend time reminding kids the routine and behaviors they had mastered in October. Start thinking of ways to encourage them!

How about you? Are you a mom enduring an endless winter or know someone who is>

Why Brian Williams is Fair Game by Julie Arduini

I’m a strong believer of building others up instead of tearing them down. It’s a principle I use as a mom, mentor and friend.

That said, the dull roar and many memes I’m observing regarding Brian Williams doesn’t bother me.

I think by his own choices, he’s fair game.

Image: Twitter

In case you missed the news about his news, Brian recently did a feature on a story he’s been telling for years. He recalled during the Iraq war he “was forced down after being hit by an RPG.” Over the years he added details to the story even though there were servicemen who were there who were crying foul. They were on the flight and recalled him not being on that flight, but one that showed up later. In other articles I’ve read NBC reportedly went as far as to tell him to stop telling the story because he was going to get caught one day. In this article from the Business Insider it’s reported that NBC was warned Williams had a reputation for stretching the truth.

Finally, the servicemen and their calling him out caught traction and it made it through social media and is now news. There were too many people who were there telling the same story for Brian to continue with his version. Instead of opening up and admitting he lied, he instead took the route of “I misremembered.” The backlash from that is so intense he is now saying he has taken himself off the air. True or not, I can’t discern. NBC news isn’t great at following through with scandal, from Matt Lauer’s role in firing Ann Curry to Dr. Snyderman being seen all over town while she was supposed to be quarantined, both are still on air getting paid well.

The internet is abuzz with Brian Williams memes and I don’t feel bad that they are out there. He grew up 20 miles from where I did and he was a hometown hero. I loved telling others that Brian Williams came from our area. I loved journalism and was headed in that direction when I realized I couldn’t be objective. News is too important to me so I left it before I would get caught in a situation where I’d share my views instead of facts or something in violation of the ethics that are so basic. Brian violated our trust and kept going when he was warned to stop. When he got caught, he failed to repent and ask forgiveness. My sense is he’s hoping we all simmer down and move to the next news cycle so he can get back to work and we all forgive and forget.

Is he the only anchor out there with issues? No. They lost their objectivity the day Walter Cronkite and Tom Brokaw retired. The anchors today share their opinions or what’s being fed to them but to my knowledge, they aren’t sharing heroic stories they were never a part of. For that, I think NBC needs an overhaul. Forget the ratings Williams used to bring and be about the news. Bring a trusted face and voice like Lester Holt and start over with an evening news program people can rally to watch because they want the news and know they are getting it.

And Brian, take your time wiping the dirt off yourself. Find that place deep within that wants to make a difference, a real one, and be a game changer for the world.

Not the butt of jokes as you ran headfirst into.

Congratulations to our own Julie Arduini

Julie Arduini is a faithful contributor to this blog and has been since its inception a number of years ago. Not too long ago, we collectively congratulated Julie on the publication of her book and celebrated with her.

Now we have two new books to celebrate with Julie!

A Walk in the Valley is from Chalfont House and is available for pre order, release date April 28. This is an infertility devotional and perfect for anyone experiencing infertility and/or miscarriage.

 

Julie Arduini, CR Author

 

The Love Boat Bachelor features Write Integrity Press authors where readers choose the ending. Chapters are being released now through http://writeintegrity.com and once the voting finishes, the book will be available for free on Kindle for four days, starting on Valentine’s.

Please join us in celebrating with Julie! We’re so pleased to see her doing so well!

Blessings,

Vicki Hinze

Christians Read Administrator

Choose Your Romance by Julie Arduini

Didn’t I just wish everyone a Happy New Year? Well, I blinked and it’s time to talk Valentine’s Day!

As I’ve confessed before, I love romance but I’m not a die hard romantic. You would probably catch me watching the latest Fast and Furious movie over a rom-com. But I love reading and writing romance.

Thankfully, so does my publisher, Write Integrity Press. Last year they had a fun Valentine’s promotion where they had readers choose the ending. A Dozen Apologies was a bestseller as Mara Adkins visited all the men she’d hurt over the years and asked their forgiveness. Readers chose the man she’d fall for and they didn’t pick Pastor Brent Teague.

Similar to the reality television show, the sequel, The Love Boat Bachelor, now has Brent as the main character. He’s really hurting, I mean afterall, the guy got his heart broken twice by the same girl. He’s wounded enough to even question his calling as a pastor. One thing he is sure of is he’s done with romance.

His sister and best friend disagree. They conspire and get Brent to agree to a stint as a chaplain on a cruise ship. The two week job will take Brent all over the Caribbean. What they don’t tell him is it’s a love themed cruise. The passengers are either in love or looking for it.

This week Write Integrity started releasing chapters so readers can meet Brent and the heroines. Once the chapters have been released, readers will vote on the heroine they want to see Brent fall for. Once the votes are tallied the book will have an ending and be available on Kindle for FREE for four days, starting on Valentine’s Day.

I love it!

I wrote one of the heroines but I can’t tell you which one. I can tell you I’ve read them all and I have no idea how the voting will go. They are all fun chapters where Brent visits beautiful ports, has interesting chaplain experiences and meets a lot of passengers on board the love theme and then some.

If you’re done with the snow and cold or want to escape with a tropical read for a bit, I’d love for you to check out The Love Boat Bachelor. Chapters will be released during the week this week and next before voting. I’d appreciate you sharing this so we can get a lot of readers involved and voting.

As someone who does enjoy a fictional romance, I’m always rooting for that happy ending. I’d love to see you give Brent Teague the ending he deserves!

To read The Love Boat Bachelor Chapter one, click here.

To read The Love Boat Bachelor Chapter two, Cozumel, click here.

Also, starting in February my newsletter subscribers will receive monthly installments to my contemporary romance, Crumbs and Embers. Those who are new to subscribing receive the novella Match Made in Heaven, too. To subscribe for free, complete the form in the right sidebar of Julie Arduini.com and watch for activation. I’m excited to share this Upstate NY Finger Lakes romance with you!

Delayed Fruit Tastes Sweeter by Julie Arduini

Happy New Year! I missed my last December post not remembering what day it was thanks to the holiday schedule. I was also basking in what had to be one of our best Christmas celebrations to date.

After we had our first ever Christmas with the four of us in our new house, we traveled back to our hometown to visit family. This time we met my husband’s adult children en route and drove most of the way together and spent precious days with them as we caught up with both sides of my husband’s and my family.

I can’t remember when I’ve enjoyed so much laughter.

All four Arduini children plus girlfriends.

I got thinking, it didn’t seem that long ago when I was praying for such a thing. When I first met the kids they weren’t even teenagers. The very week we started dating my now husband learned they were moving  from Upstate NY to Wisconsin. We didn’t see them often, but when we did, we poured a year’s worth of love and laughs into those visits.

The goodbyes were heart wrenching.

I kept praying.

The distance was hard, especially in a time before Skype and texting.

But as they grew up and became young adults, we saw the fruit. For kids of divorce, they were well-adjusted and very close siblings. They had a lot of family that loved them from all sides. Although it wasn’t a perfect situation, we understood God knew what He’d been doing all along.

As time marched on and not only were they adults, but we also had kids of our own, the fruit became a harvest. When his daughter married I got to watch former spouses chat with fond memories and laughter. Former in laws greet my husband with kindness. Everyone reach out to me and our kids with hospitality and warmth. I still bask in the blessing that their maternal grandmother switched place settings at the reception so she could sit by me. It was an absolute perfect day.

My husband asked how did I know things would turn out so well? I didn’t even hesitate.

“When you’ve laid down fifteen years of prayer, you know it’s not going to return void.”

This last visit was more bounty. Grown children with solid jobs and healthy relationships. All kids interacting together as if they saw each other every day. A beaming father. So much laughter.

As a young wife, I wanted the distance erased and tears gone. Thankfully God asked me to pray. When we gathered a couple weeks ago we remembered those goodbyes. As hard as they were, we realized the silver lining. The older siblings have a strong bond and took amazing care of each other when traveling. They were surrounded by their mom’s family and love, their dad’s, their step dad and sister, and me, my family, and their siblings. When we Skype and they are at their mom’s, it’s fun to watch my husband interact with her. They had good times, and I love that they are able to remember them.

If you’re going through a situation you’ve prayed and prayed for and it seems like nothing is happening, don’t believe the lie. I believed a lot of activity was going on in heaven before it pulled down to Earth. And although it took more time than I naively thought it should, the fruit of those prayers is sweeter than anything I can describe.

My prayers are with you!

***

Starting in February, Julie Arduini newsletter subscribers will receive the exclusive Upstate NY romance, Crumbs and Embers. To subscribe for free, complete the form in the right sidebar of Julie Arduini.com and watch for activation. For a limited time, new subscribers also receive the 2014 novella, Match Made in Heaven. Spread the word!

When the Most Wonderful Time of the Year Isn’t by Julie Arduini

For me, it was 2004.

I stared at the blinking lights on our Christmas tree, almost in a trance like state. It wasn’t the colors or the tree. I was shell shocked at how fast my life had changed and how much those I loved suffered.

In a year we’d both had job changes. My husband’s job was such a transition we had moved 300 miles away. We knew no one.

We had a toddler recovering from a horrendous first year where we nearly lost her. She needed therapy several times a week on top of medical appointments.

My dad had passed away. When he got the diagnosis he knew the outcome even though for months he didn’t even appear sick. The strapping man who reminded me of John Wayne was gone.

Celebrate Christmas?

I was having trouble finding reasons to get out of bed each morning.

This year has been full of heartbreak for so many I know online and in person. So much transition, sickness and death. Job loss, injustices. Broken marriages. Miscarriages. Widowhood.  These are without looking at headlines. If so, there are families grieving from suicides. Shootings. Life seems full of bad news.

But the song says it’s the most wonderful time. How can that be? How can anyone celebrate the season when there is no feeling? When everything is numb and time feels frozen?

• I know for me, it helped to decorate. That was my way of not only remembering I had two children who needed the bright lights and Christmas music, it was also a statement. I was down, but I refused to be out. I felt like the devil’s plan was to destroy everything in and around me and if I gave in, he won. And even if it was one small thing I did to remember it was Christmas, I was bound and determined.
• I also thought of others. It wasn’t easy because I felt so lost inside myself. My favorite thing to do is to have blank cards and point to a random name in the phone book. I write something like, “You mean so much to God that I pointed to a name in a phone book to send a card and the person is you. You are not forgotten. You are loved. Have a Merry Christmas.” I don’t sign my name or leave a return address. I want them blessed, and it takes my mind off my situation to know I’m encouraging someone else.
• If I couldn’t take the upbeat Christmas music, I put praise music on. If the words, as Christian and Biblical as I needed them to be were heartbreaking to hear, I played instrumental music.
• I wish I’d been more honest. There were some events I shouldn’t have attended but didn’t want to let anyone down. Other times I isolated myself and should have said something. Keeping it all in wasn’t healthy and again, plays right into the enemy’s hand. You don’t have to air all your laundry, just say you’re struggling and can use prayer. And when someone offers, let them.

Since then I’ve had other difficult Christmas seasons but nothing close to that one in 2004. I think a lot of why I was able to bounce back a little faster was I applied the suggestions above and realized the pain had purpose. Hosea 2:14 has been my lifeline in dark times and I want my adversity to mean something and help someone else down the road.

My prayer is that if you’re struggling this Christmas, something here in this post helped you.

Father, let every person reading this post feel Your presence right now, and in the days and weeks to come. For every event and circumstance that has robbed them of peace and joy, replace it multi fold with blessings we can’t define. Give them special moments that are Your love notes just for them. Give them strength to celebrate Christmas, even if it’s in a different way this year. Draw them close to You. We give you the glory, honor and praise. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

All About Elf on a Shelf by Julie Arduini

He’s outfitted in red and white and pays attention to all your deeds.

He’s polarizing—he’s loved and tradition or hated and judged.

Santa? Nope. It’s the little figure that takes over your Facebook feed, Elf on a Shelf.

I had no clue who or what this was a few years ago and I still see folks scratching their heads wondering where did this thing come from, anyway?

Photo from Elf on a Shelf website.

Elf on a Shelf is a children’s book that explains how the elves are sent by Santa to watch over boys and girls and report back to let him know how they are behaving. According to the Elf on a Shelf website, when a family adopts an elf by giving them a name, the elf receives its magic so they can go to work. At night the elf leaves for the North Pole to report to Santa and when the family wakes, the elf is back home, but in a new location the child/ren need to find. Often the elf is caught doing something mischievous. Elves have been also known to share lessons, Bible stories, or even warnings about bad behavior.

The concept has taken off so much that there is also a birthday and reindeer tradition. There’s also an app that gives ideas for the scout elf that can be simple, crafty, silly or messy. Part of the fun is taking pictures of the elf antics and putting it on social media. Another aspect is sharing the elf name. Over the years I’ve read about Joe, Chippy, Sparkles and Buddy.

We for our family, I was skeptical. I didn’t want another product to take away the true meaning of Christmas but our youngest was so enamored with the concept I compromised. Instead of buying the book and original figure I bought a plush elf that was a girl (and in my opinion, less creepy.) Our teen son and I had fun and a little bit of stress trying to put Pinkie Pie in all kinds of situations. There were mornings the youngest found Pinkie Pie on a zip line, in the sink washing dishes, in the bathroom putting bows on the mirror. But she also led a Bible study for the Christmas stuffed animals. Gave out gifts. Wrote encouraging notes.

I realized during the process I looked forward to our daughter’s reaction and her joy was contagious. It pushed me to be creative and intentional. Because she was on the upper end age wise, Pinkie Pie retired after one year of service. But the process surprised me. Sometimes the season is hard for me and this was a way to push past the fog and celebrate the season. We didn’t lose the focus on Christ’s birth. I really have no regrets.

This year we’ve moved on by adopting a family advent calendar. We took turns creating challenges meant to give us family time and situations that encourage us and focus on the real meaning of Christmas. Already I’m glad we’re taking the time for this, but I confess, I’m watching my Facebook feed to see what the elves are up to.

How about you? Does your family have an Elf on a Shelf? What are your thoughts about them?

I’m Not Ready by Julie Arduini

You know the phrase, “Be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it?”

I wasn’t ready for two feet of snow a couple years ago.

I was thinking about that when I looked at the pictures from Greater Buffalo earlier this week. I heard a lot of people say how they wanted snow. The people who saw 50+ inches of snow, yes, nearly 5 FEET of snow in a day, most likely were saying they didn’t ask for that. Who could be ready for such an event?

It’s the same for couples with infertility. Before certain medications or procedures they are warned that there could be such success that they could end up with multiples. I dealt with infertility and even learning I was having one after praying for so long and hard still gave me fear. I got what I wanted and I remember saying to my husband as birth was imminent, “I’m not ready!”

With the holidays, I know how easy it is to get caught up in the events of the season and the massive to-do list that comes with it. No matter how early we wake up to prepare there’s a knock on the door and it hits me it’s show time. I look around and see a kitchen in chaos. Things I missed cleaning in other rooms. The guests are in the entry taking off their coats. “But wait, I’m not ready!”

This sentiment is exactly what I’m feeling with my first release out. I’ve worked years for this. Reading, writing, revising chapters only to tweak again. Now Entrusted is out and it’s a new road. I’m creating guest blog spots, interviews, media releases, updating my website, recruiting reviews and influencers. There’s writing deadlines for the second and third books in the series.

As I’ve tried to juggle these things against two kids in dramas, one also in driving school, helping the other with homework, cleaning a new house and keeping everyone dressed and fed, I’ve wanted to scream, “Wait! I’m not ready!”

No matter what we’re facing that seems too daunting to deal with, this I know: God equips. It’s His nature.Whether it’s a national weather event in my back yard or a new author trying to make the public aware of , it’s hard stuff.

What have you been wishing for that now that it’s here you’re in a panic saying, I’m not ready!

Book Release Update by Julie Arduini

If you’ve read Christians Read for any length of time, you’re aware I was seeking publication. Earlier this year I signed with Write Integrity Press for a three book contemporary romance series based in the Upstate NY Adirondack Mountains. I can’t wait to share my friends from the fictional village of Speculator Falls.

I learned the official titles for each book and I’m excited. They reflect not only part of the plot, but the surrender journey the characters go through.

Entrusted—Jenna Anderson, sassy Youngstown, Ohio city-girl, plows–literally–into Upstate New York’s Adirondack village, Speculator Falls, with a busted GPS after agreeing with one phone interview to accept the senior center director position with the goal of belonging no matter how out of place she appears and how angry she makes town councilman and grocer Ben Regan.

Her new life is so rural there are no traffic lights, and when she learns her car isn’t equipped to handle the mountain terrain, Ben’s grandmother offers her late husband’s vehicle, further alienating the local businessman.

As she endears herself to the seniors at the center and creates a vision full of ideas, programs, and equipment, she ruffles Ben’s plans to keep Speculator Falls void of change, including the store his grandfather built.

The two work through community events and shared heartbreak only to face off in a town council meeting where Ben publically rejects her proposal for the senior center, causing Jenna to react out of her fears about belonging.

She returns to Ohio where she realizes she needs to surrender her plans for the center and fears about belonging and trust her Heavenly Father when facing fear, change, loss, and love.

Entangled—
A single mom and former Adirondack sheriff enters beauty school but creates split ends for the men in her life.

Engaged—
Trish Maxwell returns to Speculator Falls with crushed dreams, egg on her face, and the chance to make a new start with the very people and places she used to make fun of.

Entrusted is set for release next month. I don’t have a cover to share yet so when I have updates, I’ll be sure to pass that on. I encourage you to consider Entrusted as a Christmas gift for the romance reader on your list.

 

 

But wait! There’s more. I do have a cover for another book I’m co authoring with Jerusha Agen, Theresa Anderson, Joan Deneve, Marji Laine, Fay Lamb, Elizabeth Noyes and Betty  Owens. The Love Boat Bachelor is a sequel to last year’s A Dozen Apologies. This time readers pick who Brent Teague will propose to. I can’t say much more than that except for I love the premise and I am having a blast writing my chapters. Stay tuned for this romance as well.

As you can tell, setting is a big part in the books I’m writing. What’s a setting you enjoy? Have you traveled there?

 

 

When Childhood Stories Grow Up by Julie Arduini

I’m late to the party but my new binge watching hobby has been Once Upon a Time. I’m fascinated by the way the writers have taken beloved fairy tales and classic stories and put a modern spin on them. For the few people left who haven’t heard of the show, characters like Snow White, Prince Charming, Belle, Red Riding Hood, the dwarves, Hook, Aurora, Mulan, Rumpelstiltskin, Pinocchio and the Evil Queen are part of a modern town called Storybrook.

When the show begins we learn the town is under a curse and that the characters have forgotten their fairy tale roots. A little boy adopted by the mayor has a special book and believes everyone in Storybrook is from a story. When his biological mom comes to town, the clock in the village starts to work again and things start to change.

I’ve had fun thinking about the show, the original stories, and the new opportunities the characters have with a contemporary take on things. Often the characters are motivated by revenge, greed, or loss. When an episode ends, I realize even as an adult, there’s a lesson for me to take away. The pure bliss of such great writing keeps me pressing play to watch the next episode.

Then I saw movie trailers for Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. This was one of my favorite books growing up. When I felt dramatic and wanted sympathy for a lousy day I’d open the pages and realize my life wasn’t so bad afterall. To see this updated and onscreen got me thinking again. This is another classic now updated and available for adults.

 

What other books from my childhood are out there as movies or other adaptations I enjoyed as an adult? I took a look and came up with:

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Freaky Friday

Ramona and Beezus

Nancy Drew

The Grinch

What about you? Have you noticed anything on television or the big screen that was once your favorite book as a child?

For inspiration, take a look at this list.

 

photobucket image

 

 

How Writing is Like Moving by Julie Arduini

This past year has been full of adventures both in and outside my writing life. I had the opportunity to sign contracts and move forward in the publication process. Most of my time has been spent with our journey to move to what we call our “forever” home.

We’re now in our new place and although there’s still boxes to unpack, I’m already reflecting. I realized that a lot about the moving process reminds me of writing.

1. Plotting it Out

I’m a planner and organizer. When we first started praying about the move we listed what God laid on our hearts. The needs for the new home. As we progressed and I started packing things up, I labeled boxes. I wrote the name of the room I wanted it in and what the contents contained. This has been a life saver. When I’ve been asked “Where is the…” even if it’s still packed, I pretty much know where it is.

My writing life is like that, too. I’ve tried to be “seat of the pants” when it comes to plot and it isn’t natural. I don’t write every detail down, but I need a plan. My characters need a background and it’s important to write it out.

2. The Sagging Middle

There was the time in the real estate process when we had to wait on others and we didn’t know how long things would take. Now that we’ve been in the house two weeks there are boxes I can tell aren’t as critical because they’re still in the hall.

Like writing, the beginning and the end are exciting to me. Bridging those has never been easy, and I have a feeling I’m not the only author with that struggle. They don’t call it the sagging middle for nothing.

3. The Euphoria

Signing our name on the paperwork was exciting. Receiving the key? Try and stop our grins. Sitting in our chairs in the Florida room watching the birds at the feeder brings about a joy I can’t describe.

Putting my name on three contracts this year was an amazing feeling. Revising a chapter and receiving great feedback brings about an excitement most outside of writing wouldn’t understand. Hitting send on that manuscript? It’s euphoric to finish and know you’ve done your best and it’s time to let the baby go.

I’m sure there’s more similarities I’ll think of as I keep unpacking but those are the ones that came to mind.

Are there any you can think of?

 

Lessons from an Apple Core by Julie Arduini

While I’m in the middle of unpacking boxes and getting things set up in our new home, our youngest asked if she could have an apple. She’s on a Granny Smith kick these days and likes me to cut it up. I have a Pampered Chef slicer that works like magic.

Except last night.

I tried every which way to get that apple cut. I pressed down as hard as I could hoping the core would break under the pressure.

The core never flinched.

I’m a visual person and right away I felt a check in my spirit.

These days, these last days where wars are popping up, diseases run rampant without borders, people rise up and claim they are savior and many follow—only those with a strong core are going to withstand.

Wow.

A strong core is someone who not only knows Christ in a personal way, but trusts Him. It doesn’t mean anyone is perfect or never has moments of doubt or fear.

But when the special news reports seem hourly and full of bad news—

When scandals appear to put criminals in a better financial bracket while we seem to work harder for less—

It’s tempting to think about bending.

Giving in.

Joining the world for just one choice.

Maybe two.

Remember, we’re in this world, but we aren’t of it.

We’re made in God’s image and He has a purpose for us.

Keep leaning on Him. Go hard after Him to learn strategies, wisdom, secrets only He can share.

And watch your core build to the point that when the fires come, you don’t just survive.

You thrive.

That’s a strong core.

 

photobucket image

What I Wish the World Knew About Depression by Julie Arduini

I was stunned to open my Facebook feed and find it full of tributes to Robin Williams. I knew he wasn’t even 65, so I wondered if it was his heart. I was devastated to read and now know it was a suicide.

His family shared that he had been struggling with deep depression. His own confessions regarded his addictions. I love to read biographies and such and most of the great comedians had ravaging inner pain. Many medicate with alcohol or drugs. All in that category used humor, and we found it entertaining.

I suspect his death is especially hard because his talents knew no bounds. Hysterical stand-up. Oscar winning drama. Laugh out loud interviews he hijacked. Touching tributes to causes and people like St. Jude’s. TV. Movies. I can’t think of another person like him, not before, not up-and-coming.

Now my Facebook feed is full of posts, articles, updates and comments regarding depression, suicide, God’s word, eternity. I don’t think any of these help his family. I pray something does. I can’t imagine the torment of anyone left behind after a suicide.

My hope is that through my small experience with depression someone might get a glimpse of what it is like. It took decades for me to realize I had hormonal imbalance. I suffered with severe PCOS, so I’m not sure if the two were related. But when I was in a certain time of the month I could feel a change and it was as ominous as a dark cloud and still night in the midwest. Nothing would be wrong otherwise and a thick veil of darkness consumed me. I was rocked with shame, for what, I don’t know. But it perpetuated knowing people needed me. The physical drain, almost like a vaccuum suck somehow took all energy and joy out of me left it impossible to manage the easiest of tasks. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. I simply could not. Like I said, it was absolutely consuming.

This would hit hard for twenty minutes straight. That doesn’t seem like a lot, but I’ll be real here. It was such an intense darkness that I can think of many times I got a suitcase out and started to pack. I thought if I ran somewhere, anywhere, my family would be free of what my torment delayed them in having.

Three times I can recall walking to the medicine cabinet. I picked up pills and stared. I knew what I was contemplating but I was that void of hope and that full of desperation. And yes, this was as a Christian, and a strong one at that.

I longed for someone to bust in the door when I’d hide and tell me I was worth it. Who would hold me and let me cry or ooze the darkness out in whatever way. No one did. For those closest to me, they admitted they didn’t know what to do. They thought I wanted to be alone. I felt like I had no choice.

My story has a happy ending, and it is only by the grace of God. I finally broke down and confessed everything to my doctor. I now take a prescription medication that balances my moods and curbs menopause effects. Even with a hysterectomy, I still struggle. I’m upfront when I’m having a hard time. It’s not as dark or isolating but I get frustrated. My memory isn’t what it used to be. I have trouble sleeping. I tire easily than I used to. But it’s no where near where it was.

What do I wish the world knew?

1. It’s the darkest, most isolating and oppressive experience in the world. If you haven’t experienced it, you shouldn’t give answers as an expert.

2. It’s a vicious cycle, always looming. Just when you start to crawl out of the pit, there is a tug on your ankle threatening to pull you down and keep you there. It is frightening.

3. Isolation is the game plan of oppression. Love the person, no matter how much they protest, that they are going out with you for coffee. Show up with bagels. They will say they are busy and fine. Show up anyway.

4. If you’re not sure what to say, admit that. Transparency is an oasis. Patronizing, packaged answers are a wasteland. I didn’t feel better when I heard “I don’t know what your problem is.” Or, “You just need to snap out of it.” If I could have, I promise you, I would have led the way.

5. Jesus Christ CAN set you free. I admitted above that even as a Christian I struggled, so I get that you might argue why bother? Because without Him, I promise you, I’d be a dead statistic. Knowing HIm gave me enough hope to speak out, to call and seek help. I could picture Him next to me, weeping with me. That helped me so much. He is real, He is for you. Don’t go another step without Him.

To learn more, please visit the following: peacewithGod.net

photobucket 

Trusting God by Julie Arduini

I’ve been hit and miss blogging here this summer. I’d love to say it’s because I’m hunkered down with re writes and marketing plans now that contracts are signed. Although there’s truth to that, our family has been on a crazy ride this season.

We’ve had travels for family visits and our teen son’s missions trip. The bulk of our time has been searching for a new home. Last month we thought we found it. The offer was accepted and things seemed in motion. Deep down I sensed something was off, but I didn’t want to think about it. Red flags started popping up, but we didn’t think much of it. We dismissed them as inconveniences.

And the deal fell through.

Once we recovered from the shock we all confessed we felt this was going to happen. The challenge was to move past the emotions and trust God to move us forward. Literally.

There was one object lesson that gave me the courage to keep that process at the Lord’s feet. I’m a visual person and when this showed up on my Facebook feed, I felt the urge to save it. Now I know why.

Artist unknown. First appeared on Facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The house we thought would be ours was nice. There was an open floor plan and space for entertaining, yet for us to recharge as an introverted family. It was designed similar to the home we left behind in our faith move from Upstate NY to Ohio. The yard was huge. There were “extras” we didn’t even pray about.

But fast forward past the deal falling through and choosing to move on, we are now on track to close on a new home even better than that one. This house has more space and bigger bedrooms. Cozier. A gorgeous neighborhood with breathtaking landscaping and privacy. So much more, and yet, $15K less than the last house. The sellers left a list of items they can’t take with them and gave us first shot at buying at a reasonable price. Nearly everything we needed was on that list and it saved us a lot of money.

Isn’t God good?

I wish that was my only lesson in the making this summer. With our current home, I was certain we’d be selling. Put a sign in the yard, the people come, we negotiate, done.

Not so fast.

As we’ve made repairs and cleaned out, we’ve prayed every step of the way. When we asked our agent to tour the house and share her insight she was honest. We were taken before the recession with the appraisal. The house will never appraise at the amount we need it to. Many families were taken like we were. Some lost their jobs after the recession and were forced into banktruptcy. They can’t buy right now—but next year—they can.

Her suggestion was to rent our current house out.

At first I couldn’t even entertain it. Afterall, it’s always about buying and selling. Not buying and renting. Right?

Our answer might not be everyone’s but we laid this down in prayer. And I felt such peace. Our agent has provided helps so we’re informed and protected the best we can. By focusing on that visual above, I was able to hand my plan for a straight sell and consider His plan.

Trusting God is so hard. That’s what makes the reward of faith so rich. We can’t see what’s ahead. We have to believe His best for us is the plan. When Eve sinned her real motivation was far. She didn’t think God would come through for her.

Boy, do I relate.

My prayer for you is if trusting God is a struggle, surrender that fear. The same inspectors that went through the first house also inspected this home we plan on moving into. They couldn’t believe we’re getting more house for less money. Over and over they said, “God’s sure blessing you.” They even pointed to the design on the doors, a cross. “See, even down to the door. A cross. God’s blessing you.”

Trust Him to bless you, too. Not for things, don’t get me wrong. As excited as I am for this house, the real blessing here is peace. Unity. And favor.

Trust Him today.

And It’s Official by Julie Arduini

I have a confession to make.

I’ve struggled as one of the bloggers here.

Not because I had an issue with anyone, quite the opposite, actually. As a reader, the other bloggers here at Christians Read are truly my favorite authors and have been. As a writer, they are my mentors.

But I felt like that Sesame Street sketch.

One of these things isn’t like the others.

Why?

Everyone was published but me. No one ever said a word about it as far as pressuring me to change the status. I was working quietly behind the scenes revising and taking my chapters through critique groups. But I let it get to me.

I even offered to step down.

And the gang lovingly said forget it.

They let me know it wasn’t a matter of if I’d be published.

It was a matter of when.

And I’m thrilled to say the time has come.

I signed two contracts recently that I’m really excited about.

The first is for an infertility devotional with Chalfont House Publishing. Heidi Glick, Elizabeth Maddrey, Kym McNabney, Paula Mowery, Donna Winters and I share our experiences with transparency in a way none of us saw in books when we were going through our struggles. Yet, there is hope. Something women in this season are in desperate need of. It’s the first time my name will be on a cover. Yay!

The second is twenty years in the making. Write Integrity Press offered a contract for my Adirondack contemporary romances. Spectacular Falls is finished and I can’t wait for readers to meet Jenna Anderson and Ben Regan. She’s the new senior center director in Speculator Falls producing a lot of change for grocer Ben Regan. My hope is readers fall in love with the people and the area. I’ve said more than once if I could go anywhere in the world, I’d most likely choose the Adirondack Mountains of Upstate NY.

The real Charlie Johns store in Speculator, NY is the inspiration behind JB’s, the store in Spectacular Falls. Picture by Julie Arduini

I don’t know why having a contract makes a difference. I told my mom the only thing I can figure out is perhaps deep down I believe it’s validation. That I AM meant to do this writing thing. That someone believes in me. That I don’t stink.

Whatever the case, I’m thankful for the Christians Read gang. They believed in me when I didn’t and never made me feel less than because I wasn’t published. Thank you, reader, for contacting me behind the scenes when you enjoyed a post and didn’t question my qualifications.

Here are one sentence hooks for the series:

Spectacular Falls:

A  city-girl plows into an Adirondack village and produces change for the grocer.

Untangled:

A single mom and former Adirondack sheriff enters beauty school but creates split ends for the men in her life.

To Be Determined:

Trish Maxwell returns to Speculator Falls with crushed dreams, egg on her face, and the chance to make a new start with the very people and places she used to make fun of.

I’ll keep you posted!