I’m a Good Person (or Trying to Be) by Kathy Carmichael

I’m a good person. Or I like to think I am.

I think it’s important to be as good of a person as I possibly can be. I don’t always make it. I can’t always live up to my standards. Without even thinking, sometimes I’m tempted to act (and do act, again without thinking) in a way that doesn’t pass my “good person” ideals. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been about to say or do something, impulsively, and had to stop mid action or mid speech. Or the times when I didn’t check myself in time. With any luck, most of those times no one overheard me.

One of my biggest flaws is that I’ll do almost anything for a laugh. It’s an annoying flaw, even to me. But it’s an even bigger flaw to those who live with me. (Sorry gang!) This gets me into lots of trouble — saying things I don’t really mean, or don’t think out ahead of time, simply for a (hoped for) laugh. Believe me when I say I have said some of the most stupid and, at least one time, hurtful things that I regret to the bottom of my heart.

But, back to being good, what defines a “good person?” How do you know if your actions are good?

What happens if you, a good person, does something not as good?

I think it’s all about your intent. Are you wanting to get away with something? Have you done it intentionally or unintentionally? Did you do it not realizing what the reaction would be? Have you taken advantage of another person or people? Did you hurt anyone, intentionally or not?

Personally, as soon as I recognize it I apologize, then I spend a lot of time berating myself. That may not be the same for everyone. I do have a huge guilt ethic. After I’m done fussing at myself, I pray and ask for forgiveness. Then I try to do better–until the next time. As much as I want to live up to Jesus’ example, I’m merely human and mess up time and again.

In this current political environment (See? I can say things diplomatically if I put my mind to it.), it’s difficult to pursue my usual method of keeping my trap shut. When I see others saying one thing yet doing another, it’s hard to hold back my angry words. I have even been noticed using choice words directed at my TV set (according to my family) and those choice words were spoken in anger rather than humor.

So can I still say I’m a good person?

I don’t think I’m a bad person, but there’s a whole lot of room for improvement. Daily prayer is helping me deal with all the turmoil going on. I remind myself that Jesus said to love and forgive one another. I’m working and praying hard at this!

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2 Responses to I’m a Good Person (or Trying to Be) by Kathy Carmichael

  1. This reminds me of what Paul said in Romans 7:15, ” I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ” This verse and this post both ring true to me as well. But I am so thankful that God does not give up on us. And as long as we are on this earth, He is molding us to be like His Son. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

  2. Pingback: I’m a Good Person (or Trying to Be) by Kathy Carmichael – Graced Lotus

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