These little guys are fast! They look very much like the pets I played when I was growing up in SoCal. But those pets in CA were tamer. In our desert here in Wyoming they always run. They also serve as a nice heads-up for rattlers, because if horned toads are out, so are the snakes.
These cute little suckers are everywhere, but they run so quickly I can’t catch one to show Mel how they flatten into a hard disc when touched. But I’ve decided to leave them alone because I don’t want to scare them. They don’t understand that I’m only trying to share a part of my past. And actually, maybe these high desert toads don’t flatten like the California ones did. How would I know if I haven’t seen it happen?
I don’t like the thought that my actions, undertaken in innocence, might actually cause misunderstanding, fear, or pain to another, whether that would be a reptile or our cats or another human.
We are living in a moment in history during which misunderstandings can cause catastrophic relationship breaks. Reactions to this present pandemic stretch from fear to anger to rebellion to logic to frustration to apathy. Yes, apathy, because after a while all those wild reactions flashing across Facebook and Instagram and email and text just get so old I don’t want to see more. I suspect many others feel the same. I have especially been turned off by the outrage and name-calling and bitter ugliness when one’s written truth is in complete opposition to another’s. Reactions are out of control.
Each of us has our own truth about COVID19 depending on where we get our information, and whether or not we have already built up immunity, and whether or not we are healthy. Since Mel and I have long since had the virus and are immune, we only wear a mask for the comfort of those around us.
However, I recall experiencing abject terror in March when I received a call from Mel asking for prayer because he was going in to see his first suspected COVID patient in the ER. My prayer life became much richer at that time, though my fears were short-lived; the next day we discovered we had been exposed two weeks before. Therefore the Covid-like symptoms we’d been experienced for a couple of weeks proved we already had the virus and were living through it. But I do vividly recall the fear and can identify with those who are still living under the threat, some who are dear friends with lung conditions who need immunity, some who are older than I, some with family members fighting the virus.
So you see, we are all in different realities. I pray for the safety of friends and family at higher risk. I thank God that Mel and I (and Colleen and Melvia and many other friends) have had the virus and discovered that, for us, it was not as severe as the flu had been a few weeks before. And I also fear for those whose freedoms are being curtailed by overzealous officials who lack logic and are ticketing cars for parking where they’ve always parked, and for those who are financially struggling because of the shutdown.
I must be more understanding of those who have been attacked by the gossip-mongering news stations on a minute-by-minute onslaught of terror. It’s hard not to catch that fever. My job is to pray for the victims of those attacks and recall my own days of fear, and be gentle. I must even keep my mouth shut sometimes when I receive outrageous reports of one type or another. Waging a battle against every single piece of erroneous news is ridiculous because, quite honestly, I’ve found that most pieces of news are wrong, exaggerated in some way, no matter what side of the fence you are on politically. Gossip is flying, and God hates gossip. He hates it.
As Vicki said yesterday, we must seek the truth. Seek the source. Our Source must be from One above, not fear-mongers below. Our Source will not allow anything to happen to us without going through Him first. And when that happens, perfect love casts our fear.
May you walk in love today. May you find the perfect peace of Christ, and know how much you are loved, how precious you are.