Happy (Almost) Thanksgiving! I know this is an American holiday where we typically take time out and list all the reasons we’re thankful, and I love that. I try to be a thankful person all year long.
Boy, it was rough .
Although it hasn’t been a terrible year, there were unexpected things that affected me and those closest to me. One of the biggest was what I thought was a simple case of bronchitis and a sinus infection lingered. And lingered. And four antibiotics later, I still didn’t feel right.
In fact, it’s only this month I’m feeling myself again.
It took a couple doctor visits, a bit of lab work, a lot of research, and all of it covered by the Holy Spirit to discover my adrenals were a mess. I’ve never been so exhausted and overwhelmed by the smallest of tasks.
It sounds weird, but I’m thankful for that season. I’m thankful my schedule is flexible because I was forced to rest. I spent a lot of time reading the Bible, participating in Bible studies, and of course, praying. It was in that I learned how sick I truly was.
My tired adrenals were carrying a load they were never meant to have. I became so accustomed to stuffing stress and moving on that I didn’t realize I had been doing it. There were back-to-back heartbreaks with the kids that sent me reeling, but I never took the time to grieve. What made it harder was knowing it was God-ordained. They didn’t do anything wrong. Wounded people wounded them and in one instance, the safeguards that should have spotted trouble were not in place. I remember crying because I was so hurt and angry for my kid. But I never stopped to grieve.Julie Arduini
The forced rest allowed me to process that trauma and other events God brought to mind. I’d been obedient and forgiven people, encouraged others, but there were a lot of things where I never lamented my pain and heartbreak. My fears and my confessions that these things were not fair.
Years ago I was part of a study on Esther where each week the sanctuary transformed into an aspect of Esther’s life. One week I rememer it was the king’s chambers. To access it, you had to go behind the veil. And when I did, I felt a little Holy Spirit nudge.
I encourage so many to surrender whatever and seek Jesus behind the veil. And then I move on to help the next person. I stopped going behind the veil.
I realize this intense rest season won’t last forever. Already activities are starting to pile up and I’m stepping my toes into the waters to see how I fare. Yet I relish my quiet time with the Lord and I’m prepared to protect it in a way I never have. I’m ready to protect me in the sense that when adversity hits, I have to leave room to lament and heal.
There’s so much I’m thankful for, and I’m sure you are as well. I thought I’d share my journey in case you’ve had a rough year and are struggling to be thankful for it.
My prayers that you have a healthy, safe, blessed Thanksgiving. I appreciate you taking the time to read!