I believe in lasting love with the right person until death we do part–and even then I want to walk hand in hand with Mel through eternity. Call me a starry-eyed romantic–Mel would laugh. I’m not nearly as romantic as he is, which would make sense, because he’s the one who taught me all I know about how to have a good, happy, loving marriage.
Mel was the one who taught me how to turn away wrath–usually by example when he turned away my wrath–with a gentle answer. That was a hard lesson to learn due to past experiences, but it was the best one. He also taught me how to speak words of encouragement daily, and I’m finally catching on–when I have a tender thought about him, when he makes me laugh, when he screams at a spider–I tell him I love him. Or show him, by killing the spider for him…or perhaps, if it’s a writing spider, I’ll gently move her outside and name her Charlotte.
Mel is the one who tends to believe the best about me. He trusts the motives of my heart, even if I don’t. His trust in me makes my heart truer. You want romance? I’ve got romance.
Mel works with beautiful women all day, women who speak his language in the medical field, who are fun and intelligent and whom I couldn’t begin to emulate, but Mel has shown me through the years that he’s a one-woman man, so I can relax and put away the jealousy.
You want a good hero in the next novel you read? I took all my unpublished manuscripts when I met Mel, and as I got to know him better during our year and a half of dating, I gradually redrew every hero in each of my stories to reflect the kindness, the true heart, the love that shines from Mel’s eyes, and placed bits of pieces of his character and personality into these men to bring them to life. It wasn’t until then, when I met the man of my dreams–who treated me with respect and gentleness–that I wrote the kinds of characters that sold my books.
You want love for the rest of your life? Practice kindness, find the way your beloved most loves to be loved, and show that to him. Seek goodness in a man, strength, ethics. There is nothing stronger or more appealing than the power of a man who walks in truth. That’s the kind of man you want. If you’re married to someone who doesn’t live up to your expectations, then search for the good he does have, and love those things about him. Make him feel loved by you.
Just a few words of advice I learned from the man in my life. I love romance when it’s real. Some of my first words to Mel on our first real date were, “I promised myself never to date another man who isn’t a rabid Christian.”
“What would you call a rabid Christian?” he asked.
“Someone who lives so completely for God that the normal person would call him crazy for Christ.”
“Well, isn’t every Christian supposed to live like that?”
Yeah. Romance. It all comes from God, and it’s the best, most satisfying way to find the love of one’s live.