Last week I had the pleasure of sharing my surrender journey with Dawn Mac and her Life Beats radio audience. Despite the technology glitches threatening our chat, there were a few themes that I think apply to anyone, whether they write or not.
1. It’s a process. I knew I wanted to write since the 6th grade. Unfortunately, I didn’t receive a great education when it came to grammar. Teachers told me to make writing a hobby, not a life. It took a personal relationship with Christ that started after college, growing in that relationship, and time to surrender the fears and write. When I finally yielded to the call on my life and promised to write for Him, I was thirty-six years old.
I mentor women in both group and one-on-one settings and it’s a regular reminder that surrender is a process. I think we put way more pressure on ourselves than Christ does.
2. You feel alone, but you aren’t. I believe my spiritual life comes in seasons much like natural ones. When it’s a personal winter, that’s when I surrender the most, and feel desolate. Sometimes the things God asks me to let go of aren’t bad things, it’s just time. Releasing things or people is painful and raw, but I’ve come to learn God’s purposes are to grow me. Winter is a preparation time. I trust Him. When I feel the most alone, I remember Hosea 2:14, NIV.
Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the wilderness
and speak tenderly to her.
He indeed speaks to me in the harsh winds and difficult times. I’m better because of them. Because of Him.
3. Freedom is worth the pain. Surrender is hard. I’ve surrendered fears, the past, bad habits, and even people. It’s never easy. One of the questions Dawn asked was what does freedom through surrender look like? It’s hard to put into words, but I assure you, it’s worth the journey.
The story I shared was how obsessed I was with being accepted and feeling like I was enough. I worried so much what people thought
of me I would lose sleep imagining what others must be saying about me. As a newlywed and a very craft-challenged person, I felt I couldn’t show up to Christmas dinner without bringing a centerpiece. A handcrafted one. An eggplant carved into a penguin that I stayed up until 2am to finish. Guess what? No one noticed the thing. Their focus was on family, and I was part of theirs. Once I surrendered that fear, I lived far from them and wasn’t able to bring things to dinner like before. It didn’t matter. I walked through the doors knowing I belonged, and just coming was enough. It was the most freeing feeling in the world.
Although having surrender as a theme is a daunting task because I realize I have to live it before I share it, I had the opportunity to tell the Life Beats audience that I’m blessed to do this. I’m a speaker, mentor, non fiction writer, and now as a fiction writer hoping to publish a fun, quirky romance filled with the Adirondack Mountains and chocolate. Even in a romance genre there is a surrender thread where characters have to literally let go and let God.
Something I think we can all relate to.
If you’d like to listen to the broadcast, click here.