Yesterday I disintegrated.
I could tell you something big and awful happened, but it didn’t. No terrible news, no world-shaking crisis. The truth is, I was presented a challenge that for some people is no challenge at all. It had to do with the myriad ways we authors have to connect and promote ourselves/our work. Have you ever held a magnifying mirror up very close to your face? Did you see every ridge and valley, every speck and blotch, each scaly skin cell an insult in itself? That’s how I feel about myself when it’s time to promote. Even then, I wouldn’t mind–when the focus is my work–if I only knew HOW.
Accomplishing one small task reminds me of something else I haven’t or don’t know how to do. That reminds me of another that I forgot, and I heap a little dirt on that hill. Very soon I am mountain climbing over molehills.
“Some folks worry and putter, Push and shove, Hunting little molehills to make big mountains of.” from One Day At A Time In Al-Anon.
That is not me. In general, I am pretty low-key. I’m flexible, spontaneous, optimistic, joyful. I love to create. I love the writing life. I’m ecstatic to do it for Jesus. What grace!
So how to explain yesterday… I think this sums it up:
“But we hold this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing power may be of God and not from us.” 2Cor4:7
God graciously reminds me I’m flawed and helpless without him.
“We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our body.” 2Cor4:8-10
God reminds me I should have no expectation of ease.
“For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2Cor4:17,18
God knows the plans he has for us, for our work, for the impact we may or may not have. If I strive in my earthen vessel, it is he who shines. And that, dear ones, is a mountain worth climbing!