A New Year’s Resolution: Follow Your Bliss by Vicki Hinze

It’s New Year’s Eve.  A chance for new beginnings.  We can have them any time, of course, but there’s something about a new year that engages our minds in greater opportunities.  Maybe it’s focus, or resolve.  Maybe it’s that we spend more time thinking about our lives–how they are and how we want them to be.  Regardless of the reason, it seemed like a good time to share a bit of wisdom gleaned from the past.  I hope that it helps you look forward with enthusiasm and eagerness, with joy.

FOLLOW YOUR BLISS:  Loving What You Do

©2011,2013 Vicki Hinze

Recently, I spent the entire day doing background work on a fabulous new series: creating settings and the rules of the realm, characters and developing plot lines. I love those days because the flush of enthusiasm burns like a welcome fire, the interest level is sky high and focus is tight–so tight that the mind is snapping with possibilities: Oh, oh, include this! Ouch, forget that–oh, wait, what about this!  See where it goes– if this happens? Dang. Hit a wall, a mud puddle, a panacea!

The birth of fiction is energizing on a writer and that makes it energizing on a book. On a series, it’s like live wires cracking and whipping in a storm. And the writer gets to experience all the emotion of creation and feel that warm glow that lets him or her know they are definitely onto something special. It’s an awesome experience.  And a rewarding one for a writer.

Backside to leather requires discipline, and on warm, sunny days, it can be hard-won discipline. So immersing in this polar opposite of unbridled creative energy is a wonderful experience on its own–and a perfect balance to the disciplinarian.

The difference?  Loving what you do.  Whether you write or do something entirely different, if you do what you love, you experience that same unbridled enthusiasm and zest for what you’re doing.  (Secret:  that’s a sign that you’re on your right path in life.)

By the time I stopped working that night, I felt as if I’d run a marathon and I was totally drained. I fully expected that when I shut down and relaxed, my mind would continue to whirl for hours. It often does.  But what actually happened surprised me.

My mind didn’t whirl. Instead, my mind was calm–and on a different, though related, topic.  And that was on analysis and how much time we (meaning you and me—the human beings and not you and me, the writers) spend analyzing everything.  So much time that too often we don’t have time to experience life!

We think about what happened, why it happened, how it happened, who it happened to, why it happened to them specifically, of all the other people indirectly impacted, and what will trigger it happening again–if it can happen again, and if it can’t, why it can’t and if that can be altered.  Or how to keep it from happening again, who’d have to do what to make sure it was stopped… See what I mean?

I’m not saying that analysis isn’t valuable, it is. But it’s like anything in excess, it’s, well, too much, and we lose the good in it under the weight of the excess. If we are moderate, we know what we need to know and we are content with that, then we have more time to actually live life rather than be distracted from it by excess analysis or anything else.

It happened. Does it matter why? Will it change circumstances to know why? If so, explore the reasons. If not, live instead.

It doesn’t pay to rehash the past for the sake of rehashing it. If you’re paralyzed on forward mobility because of the past, then revisit it.  But get what you need and then get back to forward momentum because each day spent dwelling on the past is a day spent not living in the present with an eye toward the future. Days such as that cannot be recaptured or regained.

I thought about this for a long time that night. And I thought of all the events I’ve rehashed in my mind time after time–good events and bad ones–and what a waste of life that rehashing really was. Memories are great, but to have them you have to make them. And if you’re stuck rehashing the past, well, the only memories you’re making are memories of memories. Living life has so much more to offer!

I awakened the next morning and this ran through my mind again–analysis or life–only this time, the thought was about what religions and philosophers throughout time have said on the subject. I had to smile. Had I thought of this topic in this context first, the answers were there waiting for me. But there is good that comes in working through something in your mind until you explore it fully and determine what you think about it, and in your mind, resolve it–provided you’re not avoiding a solution because it requires an action you don’t want to take.  That’s avoidance, pure and simple, and you always come out on the losing end in that.

Joseph Campbell, bless him, nailed it in short order. “Follow your bliss.”

I am smiling here. Follow your bliss kind of sums it all up and punctuates the point with a bright red bow.

If you do that–follow your bliss–you’re going to be spending a lot more time loving what you do and living, and a lot less time analyzing that which changes nothing.

Living . . .?  Changing nothing . . .?

Yes, definitely follow your bliss…♦

_____________________________

Vicki’s latest releases:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Readers Touch Lives by Vicki Hinze

 

Photo Credit: canstockphoto.com

Most writers write because they have something to say they want others to hear. Something that the writer deems significant enough to sacrifice time doing other things—children and family and hobbies—to say. Writing requires sacrifice. That’s pretty common knowledge among writers, but I’m not sure if readers are aware of it. More importantly, and this is the focus of what I want to share here, is that readers touch writers and impact them in ways readers probably aren’t aware. Touched, these writers take the insights and wisdom shared with them by readers and incorporate that wisdom and insight into future stories the authors write—and the circle of interaction between readers and authors continues and the reader’s ripple of influence broadens.

Many readers never realize that they’re a significant part of the process, but they are. An extremely significant part of the process. Let’s look at how.

1. Publishers buy books readers want to read. If reader reaction to a book is good, then publishers want more books of that type. If reader reaction isn’t good, then no matter how much a publisher loves a book, the editor won’t buy it because the editor has to buy books s/he loves and books s/he can sell. That’s essential to the health of the publisher. So readers define the types of books made available to them by their reactions to the books they read and support.

2. Booksellers stock the books its customers want to buy. It’s simple supply and demand. If a bookseller doesn’t have the books readers want, then that bookseller won’t sell books, which it must do to stay in business. So readers tell the bookseller what they want, and the bookseller seeks out those books and makes sure they’re available in his/her store. Readers influence what books are in their bookstores and available to the readers.

3. Readers through word-of-mouth influence other readers. When a reader loves a book and speaks well of it to other readers, then other readers are more likely to develop interest in a book—whether or not the other readers are familiar with the author. There is nothing better for a book than a strong “buzz” among readers. “Buzz” is word-of-mouth, a personal recommendation, and a reader’s personal recommendation is the strongest recommendation. It’s personal, trusted, seated in the personal relationship between readers.

4. Readers have amazing influence over writers. This is largely under-reported and under-realized, but readers’ responses and reactions directly to authors are probably the most influential in directly impacting what authors write and why they write what they write.

As stated earlier, writers write because they have something to say they want others to hear. The vehicle for saying what they want to say is the story. So when a reader reacts to that story, the author’s desire is fulfilled and validated—provided the reader reacts in the way the author hoped. That’s a blessing to the author, who spends much time alone creating and hoping that exactly this will happen. Let me share a personal example.

When my dad died, my mom went into shock. She couldn’t stay alone and so came to live with my family. I focused on helping her cope, helping my three children cope with the loss of their grandfather and its impact on their grandmother. I really didn’t have the luxury of time to mourn. I wrote a book about this. The book was delayed in being made available to readers—for six years.

That was a long delay that I really didn’t understand at the time. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be shared? Maybe it had served its purpose in helping me get through grief? But it did sell and then publishing was delayed two years, making the total six years between writing and publication. Shortly after it was published, the reason for the delays became clear.

Photo Credit: canstockphoto.com

I received a note from a reader asking me to call her, and I did. I had no idea what to expect—but I couldn’t have imagined what she said.

The reader told me a story of death and loss in her own family and her utter desolation. She felt hopeless and despairing and couldn’t see a way forward; she too wanted to die. But when in a store with her young daughter, her daughter grabbed my book off the shelf and said, “Mom, you need to read this.” When asked why, the girl told her, “It will help you.”
And so the mom bought the book and then read it.

She wanted me to know that, grieving and mourning and lost, she read the book and found encouragement and hope and that it helped her see that a way beyond grief existed. The characters found it and she could, too. She wanted to say thank you—and to let me know that the book had made a difference in her life. Now she could see her way to keep living.

As you can imagine, I was in tears. At the affirmation and confirmation the reader had gifted me with as an author, but in sheer gratitude that this woman who was hopeless had found hope. The dark tunnel of grief had lost its death grip on her. God is so good!

It was in this reader’s feedback that I found my mission to write books with constructive solutions to difficult challenges many of us face. This reader influenced me and my work. She gave me insight to my personal purpose. She touched my life and all of my future works. She will continue to influence me forever.

My story isn’t unique. I spoke with Robin Lee Hatcher about this, which led to an interesting exchange that might surprise readers. Robin said, “It is so easy for a writer to get discouraged. We spend a great deal of time alone with our own thoughts and imaginations. A dangerous place. And the present turmoil in the publishing industry can make this discouragement even worse. But then a reader reaches out and tells you something like this message that I received this summer:

‘I am an avid reader and have been for many years, but I’ve never contacted an author before. But, I wanted to share how the book Beyond the Shadows changed my life … When I read your book in May, I did so with sobs. I didn’t quite realize why I could identify with the main character, her husband being an alcoholic, mine just angry. I felt hopeless and for the first time could relate to someone, even if it was just a fictional book … [description of a troubled marriage and the reconciliation and healing that has followed] … Throughout this process many people have asked me what made me seek change, and I say, God sent me a little fictional book that desperately made me want to get beyond the shadows of the emotional pain. So, I want to say how grateful I am. I’ll always remember your book and the pain I felt when reading it, but now it’s only a Remembrance. God has provided a miracle for us.’”

I listened with a knot in my throat. And Robin went on to add, “An email like this provides me with enormous encouragement. It reminds me that I am doing what God called me to do, and that I must look beyond the discouragement and persevere. I never know how God will use the words I write. My job is to be obedient. The end results are up to Him.”

Now not all reader feedback is positive or constructive. Some readers don’t like a book and feel compelled to say so. There’s no surprise in that; if we all liked the same type of book, we’d collectively need fewer books and fewer authors. But that doesn’t mean that the reader’s negative feedback is without value. Often readers see an author veering off-track, so to speak, and let him/her know. This can be a welcome wake-up call to the author.

Of course there is also feedback that isn’t constructive. But that is easy to spot and given the weight it is worth. It’s amazingly easy to discern constructive versus destructive feedback, and most authors don’t judge. They differentiate between constructive and destructive feedback. In all feedback, they seek the good. Rarely have I encountered an author who neglects the gems of wisdom and insight in constructive negative feedback.

My point is that readers touch lives. They touch authors, influence them, and their feedback is cherished. Let me share a bit of a discussion had with my fellow Christians Read author, Kathi Macias. (I feel a special affinity with Kathi since we both have written books warning about human-trafficking and its dangers.) When asked, Kathi recalled a specific reader and a specific event:

“I will never forget this one. I was sitting at a book-signing when a young man (about 17) came up to me and said, “Mrs. Macias, I just wanted to come here and tell you that I read all four books in your Extreme Devotion series, and they made me want to lead a noble life.” It really doesn’t get any better than that, does it?”

A noble life, I thought. Constructive. Solutions. Elevating and entertaining. Encouraging. Inspiring. No, it really doesn’t get any better than that. And it would be utterly impossible not to expect that this reader encounter wouldn’t influence future Kathi Macias’ works.

Photo Credit: canstockphoto.com

Readers are a treasured, significant part of the entire process. From preferences on what they want to read to supporting and purchasing the books they prefer, from sharing their opinions through word-of-mouth and in their feedback to authors on what they’ve read, readers influence . . . because readers touch lives.•

© 2012, Vicki Hinze

___________________________________

Vicki Hinze is the award-winning, bestselling author of 30 novels, 4 nonfiction books and hundreds of articles. She sponsors The Book Club Network and Christians Read. Her latest release is Christmas Countdown, the second book in her new Love Inspired Suspense, Lost, Inc. series, which follows Survive the Night www.vickihinze.com. Subscribe to her Newsletter here.

The Truth About Thanksgiving by Vicki Hinze

Photo Credit: canstockphoto.com

 

 

While this isn’t an article on books, it is a reminder to readers (and writers) that history, storytelling, and reading stories has power.  All can change lives, open closed minds and hearts, offer different perspectives that might be just what’s needed to see things more clearly.  We’re also reminded, since the heart of story (fiction or nonfiction) is squarely on people, even if they’re fictional characters, it’s imperative that we understand people, their goals, motivations and conflicts.  In those insights and revelations, we grasp and shape identity—that of the storypeople and of our own.  And with that collective wisdom, we comprehend and appreciate the treasure in tradition. 

What we learn from those who came before us, how embracing those traditions served us, gives us a firm hold on who we were, are, and who we choose to be.  That solves a lot of potential crises.  So what can we learn about Thanksgiving?  What in it is significant?

To answer those questions, we must ask, “What does Thanksgiving really mean?”

Time typically confuses things, and right now we’ve an abundance of confusion.  Many say we’re neck-deep in a national identity crisis.  So rather than discuss the confusion, let’s call on the wisdom of truth.  Reacquaint ourselves with it—unfiltered—by returning to the man who officially established our nation’s Thanksgiving holiday.

In 1789, on Thanksgiving Day, George Washington issued the following Thanksgiving Day Proclamation, beginning a tradition in the United States of America that is celebrated still today.

George (G.O.) Washington
Photo Credit: canstockphoto.com

Washington’s 1789 Thanksgiving Day Proclamation

 

“Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor – and Whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me “to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.

“Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be – That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks – for his kind care and protection of the People of this country previous to their becoming a Nation – for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his providence, which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war –for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed – for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted, for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

“And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions – to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually – to render our national government a blessing to all the People, by constantly being a government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed – to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord – To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and Us – and generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

“Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

“G.O. WASHINGTON.”

 

Insight. Truth.  Tradition.  Wisdom.  Great fodder for characters in stories, and great character fodder for people. 

May the traditional spirit of Thanksgiving be a blessing to you and yours.  And in times that try souls and make us weary, may we remember to hold fast to our traditions—our identity—and to attitudes of gratitude.

For all our flaws and challenges,  ours is an exceptional nation of exceptional people.  We might lose our way at times and we forget who we are.  But we are fortunate.  We have the treasures of traditions and history to remind us.

This Thanksgiving, may we recall who we are, whose we are, why we are who and whose we are.  And may we feel to the depths of our souls the value of knowing each and every day.

 

 

In God We Trust: A Lesson from Light by Vicki Hinze

IN GOD WE TRUST:  A Lesson from Light

Last night, I heard a very short snippet of a sermon made in a public forum.  I didn’t know the speaker and unfortunately do not recall his name now.  But what he said touched me.

 

Not in the soft, gentle knowing kind of way.  No, what he said struck me like a thunderbolt.  It resonated so strong and deep that it carried the force of a physical blow that rocked me back in my seat and left me with the sensation of blown out eardrums.

 

You know the kind of reaction I’m talking about.  You’ve no doubt had it, too.  When something so profound, so significant bears down on you and says, “Hey you, hear this.  Know this.  Be certain of this!”

 

Maybe you got that feeling on being told a loved one had unexpectedly passed away.  Or when the person you loved asked you to spend the rest of your life with him/her.  Or when you were told you were going to have a baby, or that you couldn’t ever have a baby.  Or when you were told that you had a lethal disease for which there was no cure.  Or when you read—or wrote—something in a book.

 

I’ve experienced all those things and this was that kind of moment.  That important and significant and carried that kind of weight, only . . . more.  And still this morning it reverberates and applies itself to everything else that goes through my mind, to everything upon which I focus.

 

IN GOD WE TRUST.

 

We’ve seen the phrase a million times.  We’ve noted it being used in all kinds of context on all kinds of subjects.  And yet in his simple delivery, those words will never be viewed the same—at least, not by me.

 

His sermon was a short, simple one based on Genesis 1:3:  “And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.” (NIV)

 

Then he went on to speak about light and how fast it travels and has traveled without ceasing or slowing or easing, or growing weary or faltering through time and distance for a minute, hour, month, and year.

 

“Light is because God said, and light obeyed.”

 

That’s the part that knocked me to my knees.

 

Now the reverend or pastor or whatever this bearer of truth was, stopped there.  My mind and heart and spirit didn’t.  I had been profoundly impacted, and am still processing.  I have a feeling I will be processing for a long time to come.

 

Some thoughts on this that I know are significant, but not all the ways this is significant (there is much more to be learned):

 

Light didn’t question its purpose, its identity.

 

When God created Light, Light didn’t spark and fizzle or fade in and out.  God created it and—boom!—Light was and it shone.  It knew what it was and did what it did.  Light was, is, and will always be Light.  It shone then, since then, and will shine forevermore.

 

Light didn’t and hasn’t experienced an identity crisis.  It doesn’t wonder if it’s on the right path, fulfilling its intended purpose.  It is, and it is because God spoke it into creation and deemed it good.  Light knows what it is and whose it is, and that it is good.

 

That’s a powerful, powerful knowledge, and in it is a wealth of wisdom.  Light is a mentor to us, if we choose to be mentored.  Like Light, God spoke us into creation.  He fashioned us with His own hands, infused us with gifts—abilities, insights, skills or the ability to attain them—and breathed life into us, claiming us as His own.  He gave us the wisdom of His Word, revealing His character and traits which prove to us that He cannot abide evil or that which isn’t pure, and because we know that, we know that He considers us good.  We’re flawed, yes.  No surprise to Him; he created us exactly as we are.

 

He gifted us with free will, knowing that we would goof up and make mistakes and burden ourselves and our souls but also with His promise to be there with us every step of the way and giving us His instruction book—the Bible—revealing how we can make less of a mess with our lives by following His ways.  He was for us the ultimate trailblazer, and when we muddied things up anyway, He sacrificed His son to show us the way.  By grace, not works, we’re saved and remain His forever.

 

These days, as in many days gone by, remembering at all times who and whose you are isn’t popular.  Some will demonize you.  Satan will let loose with all the demons in hell to oppose you, tempt you, do any and everything to pervert and dissuade you.  Spiritual warfare is the worse warfare because the ultimate prize is your soul, your eternity.

 

Think about it.  We’re here in this life for such a short time.  But eternity is, well, eternity.  It lasts a lot longer.  So whatever trials we face in life pale to those of battling for our eternity.

 

Mixed messages and muddled directives from other human beings can manipulate or confuse or deliberately steal our eternities—but only if we neglect to take this lesson from Light.  And that lesson is:

 

We are the children of God.  We are and always will be children of God.  We might choose to ignore it, to rebel against it, to deny it, but we are who we are.  We are whose we are.

The closer we walk with our creator, the better able we are to endure and face constructively life’s challenges and trials.  We’ll have them, but we’ll also have the tools to cope with them.

 

Conversely, if we exercise our free will to walk away from God, we’re closing the proverbial toolbox.  He won’t stop us from walking the wrong path, but He’ll walk it with us, patiently waiting for us to return to Him, to call upon Him, so that He can remind us of who we are and that we’re His.

 

As people, as a society, as a nation, we are in a spiritual war over our purpose for our identity.  Over and again, we hear the problems.  We know them.  We live them and they manifest in our lives every day.

 

Over and again, we hear they’re complex, and intricate, and too big to handle.  But if we look at Light, we know that’s simply not true.  We know that anything man does is a flawed bandage and to solve the problem we must go to the root source.  That’s where the lesson from Light offers the solution.  We need only remember who and whose we are.

 

Embrace that, and we have the tools we need to resolve our issues no matter how complex or tangled.  Reacquainted with our instruction manual, we rediscover that He specializes in making crooked places straight.

 

We don’t have to struggle with identity or who we are or how to fix what’s broken.  Like Light, we just have to be who and whose we are.  In that are all the answers to all our questions.  To claim them, in God we trust.

There’s so much more, but more must wait for another day and another post.  For now, I’m holding on to the lesson in, “Light is because God said, and light obeyed.”

Blessings,

 

Vicki

P.S.  The first book in my new Lost, Inc. series of Love Inspired Suspense novels has been released, SURVIVE THE NIGHT.  Wanted to mention it in case that’s a type of book you enjoy. FMI visit vickihinze.com or the Lost, Inc. website.

Powerful Messages

The most powerful messages are often those simply spoken from the heart…
I saw this video for Mary’s new book and it was so real, so powerful…  I just had to share it.

 

The Movie Massacre by Vicki Hinze

First, my apologies. I posted this first thing this morning–on the wrong blog.

 

The Movie Massacre

I wrote this on the morning of the massacre. Like everyone else, I was emotional, so I withheld releasing it until now. It was, I thought, prudent to wait for facts. Prudent to give time for the truth to surface. Prudent to not rush to judgment but to give events time to sort out and emotional reactions to them time to settle.

When something happens like the Movie Massacre, we all are impacted. Some are in shock, some grieving, some stunned and overwhelmed with a need to pull loved ones close, some angry at someone fame-seeking being willing to destroy so many others lives.

The closer one is personally involved, the more severe the impact. Loved ones died. Families were changed forever, devastated and broken. Lives were taken, and for those left behind, altered forever. The pain and grief and mourning are unrelenting, and the one question that penetrates the inevitable shock is why? Why, why, why?

The hardest part to accept is that there is no why. We seek to understand and yet we do not. It is normal and natural then to seek the peace that passes understanding. That comes in spite of not understanding. The peace we find in that which is bigger than us who does understand.

It goes without saying that our thoughts and prayers are with the victims of the families. We say and mean it. But that barely scratches the surface of the maelstrom of feelings that such a senseless tragedy conjures in us all. We offer to do anything we can to give those directly involved what they need. And we do it knowing that no matter what we give or do, the one thing that will mend their battered hearts is the return of their loved ones, the return of that which they personally lost that has forever altered them and their lives, and that we can not provide.

We mourn and grieve with them, for them, and the maelstrom ripples outward. We mourn and grieve for ourselves, and for our loved ones. We mourn and grieve that our innocent children are exposed to and touched by this type of thing when everything in us desires to shield and protect them from all harm. We mourn and grieve that this type of thing happens in our town, our city, our nation, our world. We mourn and grieve.

Some of us see this event and get stuck in the event itself. Reliving it over and over. When and where we were when we heard news of it the first time. What we felt and thought and our emotional reaction. Some are so focused on the horror of the incident that they can’t move or think beyond that initial moment to anything that came after it. Some will never recall the time or events immediately following that fateful moment.

We all process shock differently and react to crises differently. We naturally try to figure out why it happened—and doing what we can toward that end is important. It helps us to avoid similar future crises.

Yesterday, I heard every conceivable emotional reaction. Stunned, outraged, terrified, sad, and angry. I also heard attempts to politicize and advocate for personal preferences that could be co-opted to further agendas. These attempts were deliberate and lacked a level of compassion and respect that was unacceptable. The season was for mourning and grieving, not for pursuing agendas of any kind, and that some would pursue speaks to a collective confusion in decorum and personal behavior that should concern us all.

Those more distant from the event will process and adjust more quickly than those directly involved. The distant will see and suffer with the victims and all those who loved them, but they’ll also see the others. Those who were different kinds of victims and what happened with them next. I’m referring to those who escaped death and severe injury in the incident itself.

Those secondary victims, if you will, suffered the event and all that comes with it, but discovered how they would react in this type of emergency situation. They discovered whether they were all about saving themselves, or saving others and themselves. They looked into the face of their darkest nights and saw reflected their deepest selves, their own character.

Story upon story is coming out about people escaping from the theater who put others’ safety before their own. Who delayed their own escape to help others who needed it, who paused or stayed to comfort strangers, to shield others younger and weaker or beloved with their own bodies. Some were quite young and yet when a higher calling presented itself, they answered in ways that can only be respected and admired. In ways the untested can only hope that they would react. As the day wore on yesterday, more stories emerged of those who met the hero within and those who shunned that hero and were feeling the weight of doing so.

In the days and months ahead, no doubt there will be much self-reflection on these discoveries, and I pray that these people will be gentle with themselves and take what they learned and apply it for their greater good, whatever they innately know it to be. That, by grace, is the path to that peace that passes understanding.

For those more distant, this event makes you want to hold your loved ones extra close, to shield and protect them. Yet you can’t live in a world of fear and become paralyzed by it.

I thought about this a lot yesterday and learned a lesson from my daughter. Earlier this summer my eldest angel was out in the boat and saw a shark. On subsequent outings, she no longer wanted to swim in the water. My daughter told her that we couldn’t live our lives afraid. The child now swims and enjoys the water while keeping watch for what’s around her. Yesterday afternoon, this same daughter took my angels to a movie.

Fear confronted is fear diminished.

That is the lesson. And it harkened me back emotionally to the attacks on 9/11. Fear is normal and, if managed, healthy. But if you let it run unchecked, it will paralyze you and rob you of life.

Fear itself isn’t evil or good. Like many things, it is both. It can harm or protect, and which it does depends on the person.

The stories about the man who inflicted this tragedy—I refuse to speak his name since I am convinced fame is what he sought—are swirling. Bits and pieces of his life are known and this morning, I heard there’s an insanity defense coming.

It’s early yet, but I have to say that doesn’t work for me. While perpetrating a tragedy of this nature and considering yourself a character in a fictional film is insane, it doesn’t mean you’re truly insane. It does mean that when you couple trashed out nonsense you put into your mind with drugs, you get out what you’ve put in. Lesson: guard your mind.

Extreme lengths were gone to by this individual to protect himself—all the tactical protective gear: he didn’t want to die. He wanted to survive this while he felt perfectly fine killing many, many others. That took preparation and planning. It took clear thought. It took time–months. He didn’t snap. He planned and prepared. That’s not insane, it’s evil.

Call it what it is. Evil.

He was methodical in purchasing weapons at different stores in different areas. That took time. Not a snap judgment. He decided what to do, created a plan for doing it, went to each different area to each different store and did it. He acquired all his weapons and ammo and tactical gear and all the essentials needed to do what he did in trip-wiring his apartment with unknown “liquids” which leave authorities with no choice but to deem them chemical. No simple snap judgment, this. No, for the complex and sophisticated treatment, intense detail and management of the processes were required. Insane? On a level, yes. But legally? When taking on the personae of the joker? Doubtful. Actually, it strikes me more like an excuse to behave badly.

I don’t know why this happened. I don’t know what made this joker want fame so much that he was willing to destroy and devastate others to get it. I do note that he went to great lengths to make sure that he survived it so he could hear all about the fame he’d generated. And what comes to mind is that his actions were cowardly, cruel and malicious. To his victims, to his family, to himself. To everyone impacted by his actions. His lack of respect for all those others is evident, and when more details emerge, we’ll no doubt learn of all the seemingly little events that led up to this big event.

One so self-absorbed and disrespectful just doesn’t wake up one day and decide to cause calamity. Most often, they’ve caused minor incidents over and over and over. (Heads up lesson, parents. That’s a big clue for you to handle the little things so they don’t become big things.)

He had family—wasn’t facing the world standing alone. He was an honor student and had college—something many would love to have but lack the opportunity. He withdrew from med school and enrolled in a Ph.D. program—again, an opportunities many would love to have but just don’t. And he chooses to stoke up on Vicodin and make his joker fantasy into a self-indulgent reality, protecting himself and becoming others’ nightmares?

What will come of him legally, I have no clue. But I wouldn’t be quick to say the man snapped his crackers or went off his rocker. Initial evidence doesn’t support it and it’s an insult to those poor souls who really do snap and crack. What is supported is that he sought fame and found it at the expense of others. As for the rest, we’ll see.

So we wait, and yet the wisdom gleaned from the incident doesn’t have to wait. We can begin gathering it from the moment of the event.

If we let only evil into our lives, then that’s what we’ll get out of our lives. We must guard our minds as much as our bodies. Fill ourselves–body, mind and spirit–with good things, respectful things, things that inspire the least and worst inside us to rise higher and embrace the best inside us.

Share that best in us with our children and nurture it. If we plant good seeds, we harvest good crops.

Lastly, be gentle with yourself and others now. Let your compassion rise and be your personal filter. Looking at someone from the outside doesn’t tell you where that person is inside. And today, many are fragile. Handle with care.

Blessings,

Vicki

 

AWARENESS BOOKS by Vicki Hinze

Awareness Books

 

 

STOP HUMAN TRAFFICKING by Mypokcik

Not too long ago, I wrote a book called Deadly Ties.  It was the second book in my Crossroads Crisis Center series and it dealt with human trafficking.

 

That was a subject that had been on my mind for a long time.   It was one of my readers who elevated it on my personal radar.  She wrote in and shared with me a personal encounter she’d had—read that, a near miss at being abducted—and frankly, it scared the fool out of both of us.  It also set me to researching.

 

What I discovered chilled my blood.  Until then, like many I’ve spoken with since the book’s release, I related human trafficking to distant places and other cultures.  I didn’t realize that was so prevalent in the United States.

 

Now I know better.

 

And that’s why I wanted to write the book.  I thought if I was that uninformed on the very real dangers, then a lot of others were, too, and that was dangerous for us and worse, for our children.

 

You see, the average age of trafficked victims proves they’re not adults but children.  Girls and boys.  That made the book a mission.  We have duties and obligations to protect our kids—and we want to do that—but to do so effectively, we need to be informed.

 

We teach our kids not to talk to strangers, and yet many do.  They’ll help find a missing kitten or puppy.  They’ll help a man with a broken arm or on crutches get to his car.  One such man was notorious serial killer, Ted Bundy.

 

Deadly Ties by Vicki Hinze

In Deadly Ties, I didn’t use random abductions because even uninformed specifically, we tell our kids to be wary and watchful and aware of who and what is going on around them.  But there are other abductions that are deliberate, targeted, and just as devastating, and those are even less spoken of or written about, so those are the ones I focused most intensely on in the book, though there were victims of random trafficking as well.

 

Deliver Me From Evil by Kathi Macias

My fellow Christians Read author, Kathi Macias, has done a trilogy of books on trafficking also.  Deliver Me from Evil is the first.  Others too have written on the subject and awareness seems to be increasing.  I pray that it is.

 

Because our kids are relying on us, and we’re relying on each other.  In my book, the women weren’t in bad neighborhoods or places they shouldn’t have been when they were abducted.  One was putting gas in her car.  One was in a shopping mall parking lot, about to get into her car.  Normal places we go, doing things we normally do.

 

On a trip to south Texas, my husband and I were traveling early one morning.  It wasn’t yet dawn.  We stopped at a convenience store for gas, and on the window of the store was a sign.  It was about human trafficking, about it being a crime and if you were being trafficked or knew someone who was to call a number.

 

I immediately remembered that reader’s letter to me and the fear I’d felt on reading it.  But seeing that sign in that window made trafficking even more real and immediate, and that’s when I decided I’d write that book not one day but that day.  Start it, at least.

 

I’ve heard from a lot of readers on Deadly Ties.  How it had shocked them, made them aware that this doesn’t just happen other places.  It happens here, in our places.  And that they hadn’t talked to their kids about trafficking, typically trying to protect them from the seediness and depravity in it, but now realized that not talking about it was leaving their children vulnerable and unprotected.

 

Some have written that the book was hard to read because of the subject matter.  I understand that totally.  It was hard to write for the same reasons.

 

I wish we lived in a world where slimy things like human trafficking didn’t exist.  Oh, how I wish it.  But we don’t.  And so if I need to be uncomfortable and readers need to be uncomfortable to discover what we must to protect our kids, then I believe we must endure that discomfort and in a real way be grateful for it. Our kids count on it.

 

Over the years, I’ve written many books on many subjects with the hope of raising awareness.  Abuse. Domestic violence.  National security issues that impact our daily lives.  And now on human trafficking.  I don’t know the impact of the book.  Kathi Macias or any of the other authors who write awareness books know the impact of their books, either.  There’s no way to measure it.   But I do know that authors of awareness books dare to hope the potential for good from them far exceeds the discomfort endured in writing them.

 

And that leads me to ask:

 

Have you read a book that elevated your awareness of something significant, or that could be significant to you personally?

 

If you have, I hope you’ll share it.

 

Blessings,

 

Vicki

 

PS.  Be sure to sign up for our CHRISTIANS READ MEGA CONTEST at The Book Club Network.  16 books by Christians Read authors.  Click HERE for details.

 

 

CHRISTIANS READ MEGA CONTEST AT THE BOOK CLUB NETWORK

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Christians Read has teamed up with The Book Club Network for a special contest.  Details follow!
June 19-21

Enter the contest atThe Book Club Network HERE.

Contest runs for the month of June.  Be sure to enter–otherwise, you can’t win!

And please join us on FACEBOOK  and Twitter!

Blessings,

All the Christians Read Authors

The Appeal of Amish Books by Vicki Hinze

The Appeal of Amish Books

@2012, Vicki Hinze

 

I’m a suspense writer who loves faith-affirming thrillers with a light romantic element.  But I’m also an eclectic reader.   I like something in most genres of books, though I’d not read Amish novels.  That was soon to change.

 

My agent got a call from an editor who expressed interest in me writing some Amish novels.  Since I hadn’t read any, I let the possibility slide.  Then came a second editor, and then a third—all wanting Amish novels.  By this time, I figured out I was getting nudged.  There was something I was supposed to do, learn, or know regarding these books.

 

Aware that I like variety and writing new-to-me books or blending genres that haven’t yet been blended to create new sub-genres, my agent asked if I was interested.  On this third approach, I still hadn’t read any Amish novels, so I answered him with a question.  “Who are the best writers of this type of book?”  He recommended several, gave me a list of names, and so I read them.

 

Then I did some research to determine what about this type of book readers loved.  At first, I thought it was the unfamiliarity.  Readers love to be armchair adventurers, and delving into a world that is so different from the one most walk in everyday holds a great deal of appeal.  Some would say charm.  I would say it elevates curiosity and holds intrigue, kind of like going around the next bend when canoeing on the river.  You never know what you’re going to run into there.

 

But as I read more and more of the books, I deduced that unfamiliarity is only some of the appeal of Amish novels.  I think there are two other things that make these books just as appealing, though to different types of readers.  Those two things are:

 

1.  Simpler times.

2.  A structured society.

 

The Amish are “plain” people.  They aren’t into adornment and the pace of life is slower.  Some settlements are no electricity, no computers or TV or phones (cell or landlines), and no complicated lifestyles.  They’re busy, industrious people who ban together to do what needs doing in their communities, but the harried pace of most of our lives is absent in theirs.   This slower pace, more family and community focused lifestyle appeals to many.  It seems the more harried the life, the more appealing we find this simple lifestyle.

 

It’s a common thing to imagine the grass being greener on the other side, isn’t it?  Often we wish for less complex, less hectic lives.  With so many single parent households—more than married couple households for the first time in our nation’s history—and the fact that many of us don’t interact much with others physically (apparent from the Internet and its conversations), we feel that separation and isolation.  Some enjoy it.  But for many of us, the absence of a sense of belonging and those family-and-community connections create a yearning in us that these books nurture and feed.

 

These are strong emotions inbred in us, and our reactions to them are also strong.  Historically, being a part of a community wasn’t just a yearning, it was critical to survival.  To grow food, to protect and defend against those intending harm.  The reasons for this community necessity are many, and they encompass not only physical needs that alone we are not able to fulfill but also emotional needs.  These community-and-family-centric novels do that.

 

Amish novels also offer readers a structured society.  For many of us, daily life is awash in confusion.  We’re nudged on what to think, told who and what we are, directed in our thoughts and actions by others who have “skin in the game.”  Be politically correct, be strong or weak, be silent or speak up.  This goes for the big questions on the direction of our country down to the little things.  Does a man open a door for a woman or not?  He doesn’t want to be rude, or to imply she’s incapable of opening the door for herself.

 

Simply put, the everyday ordinary is complex and confusing, and that makes a simple lifestyle with structured rules appealing.  Everyone knows the rules.  Everyone is expected to abide by them, and if they don’t, they know the consequences and that they will pay them, whether those consequences are to admit the flaw or crime publicly before the community or, if the offense is deemed worthy, being shunned.  Excommunicated, so to speak, not so much as looked at by the rest of those in the community.

 

To some, this sounds harsh.  To others, it appeals.  They know the rules, what’s expected of them.  This is a welcome respite from the confusion of readers’ normal, daily lives.

 

So those are the three main reasons I think Amish books hold such appeal to readers:  they venture into an unfamiliar world without risk, the simple lifestyle is a sharp contrast to their complex lives, and there is an absence of confusion, the structured community makes the rules clear.

 

Of the books I read, I most enjoyed Beverly Lewis’s The Shunning, which was book 1 in her Heritage of Lancaster County series.  I read many novels that were good, some that were excellent, but this book stood out for me personally.

 

What about Amish books do you like?  Have you read many of them?  What’s your favorite?

 

 

Blessings,

 

Vicki

 

VICKI HINZE

Fated to Thrill. Destined to Heal.

Latest Release:  Not This Time

Next Release:  Survive the Night

P.S.  On me writing Amish books?  I don’t know.  My fondness for nail-biting suspense might be at odds with my findings.  But I’m open to being convinced that suspense would layer in nicely.  I still haven’t decided.

 

 

Mommy Wars by Vicki Hinze

© 2012 , Vicki Hinze

This round in the Mommy Wars began pitting women against women.  Specifically, stay at home moms against working outside the home moms.

It received a fair amount of visibility and discussion but didn’t strike the intensity perhaps anticipated.  Why?  Because all moms know exactly what it takes to raise a child and work in or outside the home–they all do it.  So the bottom line was it was a moot point with those who actually do it.  The needs and abilities of the mother and the child and the family dictate what’s best, and moms are wise enough to know it.  Our families and their needs are not one-size-fits all.

So the debate fizzled and the wall-to-wall coverage moved on–to the next battle in the Mommy Wars.  Instead of stay-at-home versus working-outside-the-home moms, this battle was in the form a magazine cover of a three-year-old standing on a chair breastfeeding.

The debate slivered and took several shapes.  Should a child three still be breastfeeding?  Should a mother bare her breast on a national magazine cover?  Should a mother exploit her child by baring his face on a national magazine cover in an act that is (and many say, should be) an intimate bonding time between mother and child?  Is baring the face of a young child breastfeeding in a national magazine on its cover exploitation of the child?

The battle splintered into aspects and was extremely controversial.  Yet moms, being moms, have formed their own opinions and settled their own minds.  In other words, they’re not as subject to outside influences telling them what to think as others might believe.  Moms walk in this world; they know what to think on their own. Some debate-shapers and battle-planners tend to forget that.

As women and mothers and Christians, we read all kinds of things.  We comprehend.  We form opinions and we decide.  We won’t always agree on specific issues, but we do agree that we and our children deserve respect.  We want our children cared for, nurtured, loved and taught all they need to become healthy, happy and well-balanced, productive  human beings (as we define those things).

So I’m reading information on these battles in magazines, news articles, online–those with opinions with whom I agree and disagree (there’s a lot of information on both)–and all the while there is a question in my mind that isn’t being addressed.  It niggles then nags and I realize that it’s the one thing I think should be a Mommy War.  It rises to that level of importance.  So I’m sharing it:

Banning together to assure kids have parents.  Now that’s a Mommy War worth fighting.

Blessings,

Vicki Hinze

The Line Between Fair and Foolish by Vicki Hinze

The Line Between Fair and Foolish by Vicki Hinze

 © 2012, Vicki Hinze

Sometimes in writing books for others to read, it’s hard to find the line between fair and foolish.  Actually, sometimes the line is as clear as a sunny day but most often, it’s just as murky as the muddy Mississippi after a hurricane.

 

We think, as writers, that we’re being too obvious, too fair, and yet when others read, their feedback is as diverse as we were mixed minded in the writing.  Some felt we were too fair, some just fair enough and some foolishly fair and our handling diminished the suspense or message in the book.

 

I went to an online retailer and read all the reviews on five current bestsellers.  Then I went to a second retailer and read all the reviews on the same five books there.  Afterward, I went to a third retailer and read the reviews available on those same books posted there.

 

The results were that some liked one thing, some another, and still others liked nothing.  The mix was evident.  And it proved what writers have always known:

 

Readers are diverse, and writers are and should be grateful for it.  Otherwise, we’d need one writer and one book and that’d be the end of it.  Because readers are diverse, some will love what we write, some will hate it, and unfortunately some will also be indifferent.  Loving or hating is great.  Indifference stings.

 

The results also prove that the line between fair and foolish is fine.  It has earned its place.  Readers of one work will not be touched, but will be deeply touched by another work.  And those readers will hate, love and be indifferent to a third, fourth and fifth work.

 

This convinces me that writers should never hope for all five-star reviews.  They should aspire to a mixed bag of reviews and reader feedback.  Love, hate, and indifference is evidence that the writer is walking that fine line—and doing it well.

 

As I write this, I’m thinking of books that touched me deeply—both positively and negatively—and I’m having to search my memory hard for those books that left me feeling indifferent.  I’m not sure if that means I’m too opinionated or normal.  Maybe it means it’s normal to be opinionated.

 

Or maybe it means that we write books and trust that the right people will find them at the right time when the message in the book resonates for them—when this specific book is what the reader needs to read at that moment, in his/her current circumstance.

 

I’ve written a lot of books and I’ve always written each book for a purpose.  Sometimes it takes a while, but always someone will write me a note or an email and say that the book was just what they needed—and then go on to disclose why it was perfect for them at that time.  That perfect reason relates to the purpose for which I wrote the book.  It’s humbling to receive notes like those.  But it’s reassuring, too.  Because the indifferent rarely write.  They might post a review, but they rarely message the reader that the book did nothing for them.  Those who love or hate the book are far more apt to write the author.  They’re more invested.

 

In reviewing books I didn’t care for, I discovered that they hit hot buttons inside me.  And while that wasn’t fun, it was often helpful.  It gave me the opportunity to revisit that hot button and to make choices again on it being a hot button.  To explore why it was a hot button and reevaluate.  Even though I didn’t care for the experience, it was a beneficial experience, and now I wonder if that initial negative reaction wasn’t surface clutter, because beneath it there lay a great opportunity for me.   One tied to spiritual and/or emotional growth.

 

Now that potential fascinated me.  So on went the reviewing books that left me indifferent.  What I discovered was that they just didn’t speak to me at the place I was standing at the time I read them.  Later, when I reread them, some of those books actually spoke to me—and my second reaction was far different from the first!

 

And that’s my point.  The fine line isn’t just fine, it’s also tied to time.  Sometimes the timing is right, sometimes it’s not.

 

Have you looked at the books that you’ve loved and hated and been indifferent to?  Why did you love or hate them?  Did you later find an indifferent work, well different?  Relevant to you in a way it hadn’t been during the first read?

 

After all this, I’ll tell you.  My attitude has changed.  Some books I love and feel I’ll always love.  Some I hate for now and may or may not hate later.  Some are just plain not for me but more of them are snagged in shades of gray.  And of the ones I reacted to with indifference, I’ll say, “indifferent for today” and I’ll set them aside to read again later.

 

Because the line between fair and foolish is thin and tied to time.

 

And it seems we really only know if we’ve walked the line or crossed it in hindsight.

 

Blessings,

 

Vicki

 

Let He Who Has Ears Hear by Vicki Hinze (in for Hannah Alexander)

Recently I read a review on a work that made me think.  I love it when that happens—and o f course, I had to read the book to see what (and how) it was written to evoke that emotional response in the reviewer.

Understand that those who review books read all the time.  If they’ve been reviewing for any length of time, they’ve seen it all.  So it isn’t that they become cynical, it’s that they become familiar.  And familiarity makes snagging and holding their attention more difficult.  So when a book does hold a reviewer’s attention or excite him/her, I’m automatically curious.

This was a review of a faith-based novel, and the reviewer clearly loved the story, the characters and the premise.  The nugget that snagged my interest addressed an aspect of the novel that the reviewer felt was essential information to her own readers.  It was about the novel’s spiritual element and the way it had been incorporated into the book.  It diverged from the typical and yet the spiritual message came through clearly.

It diverged from the typical and yet the spiritual message came through clearly.

 

Hear and Listen

That’s the part that first snagged my attention and then my interest.  Must we as writers all write spiritual elements the same way?  Must we focus on that which is expected rather than what enhances the story we’re attempting to share?

These are valid questions worthy of serious consideration.  And, as we step around to the other side of the table and view works through the eyes of readers (and as readers), I wondered the same thing.  As a reader, do I expect every author and every book to address spiritual issues the same way?   And if I don’t, should I?

It would have been easiest to just dismiss these questions.  Or to tell myself that not all books appeal to all readers and that’s great because if they did, we’d only need one writer and, for that matter, one book.  But that was an off-the-cuff reaction that was superficial and the possibilities nagged at me, warning me to dig deeper and think seriously on this.

Then I remembered Acts.  In in Book of Acts, diverse groups of people were gathered and each individual heard what was being preached in his own language.  One speaker, and yet all who heard what that one speaker said heard it in his own native tongue.

That led me to thinking about how God interacts with us.  Some he whispers to while they sleep.  Some he appears to in the form of a burning bush.  Some he encounters on mountains.  And some he knocks off their horses to get their attention.  Think of Jonah.  He didn’t get a whisper or a whack or a mountain.  He got the belly of a whale.

Those are just a few examples of the divergent ways God communicates with us, and if He uses diverse means, we know it’s for our greater good.  It’s also for our understanding.   By His actions, God shows that it takes what it takes to get our attention.  We’re not one-way-fits-all receivers or communicators.  He gives us what we need in a way we understand.

I’m a simple woman.  Big big mental pretzels make me crazy, so I break them down into parts.  You can grasp just about anything if you understand the parts and then look at the bigger picture of the whole pretzel.

So back to the reviewer.  She clearly knew her readers.  She knew what they expected and needed from her to grasp their attention and let them know whether or not this book was right for them.  That they’d find what they expected to find, or not find what they expected to find in it.  She did what God does:  approached those with which she wished to communicate in a way she’d get their attention and give them what she had to share.

Getting simpler still, you could hand me the best book in the world.  But if it’s written in Latin, I can’t read it.  So no matter how excellent the book might be, the message in it is lost.

And that’s the reason we need diverse books with diverse approaches and reviewers who assist in getting the books from authors to the readers who have ears to hear them.

I’ve long believed that writing a specific book a specific way is the writer fulfilling purpose.  In this, the reviewers’ purpose grew clear.  And I discovered a deeper understanding about ears and hearing, which likely was God’s point in having me notice that specific review by that specific reviewer and it snagging my attention and nudging me to dig deeper in any analysis.

By the way, for me, the book spoke in a way that reached my ears.  I not only heard but listened to its message.  Two very different things, hearing and listening.

So my wish for you today is that the book you’re reading speaks to you in a way that reaches your ears and you hear its message.  The choice on whether or not to listen is yours alone.

Either way, I wish you many . . .

Blessings,

Vicki

©2012, Vicki Hinze

 

The Irony of It All: JAIL FOR BAPTISM—ON GOOD FRIDAY? by Vicki Hinze

On Good Friday, I heard about a legal case.  A divorced couple battling.  The wife had the couple’s child baptized.  The husband, of the same faith, also wanted the child baptized, but not until later in life.  So now the husband wants the wife jailed, and it looks as if she might be jailed for this.

We’ve all heard of cases where people of different faiths disagree on baptism and, while tragic, it shows the wisdom of a couple sharing a common faith.  This is the epitome of a house divided, in my opinion, and I think of the sacrament of marriage and wonder how two become one when their fundamental spiritual beliefs are at odds.  But that’s not the topic of this post.

The topic of this post is that news of this case broke on Good Friday, the day representative of the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  The irony in that shatters the heart.

When viewed from the father’s perspective, I see the agony of the choice.   This is his child and his wishes should be considered and have equal weight, and he should have an equal say in the spiritual duties regarding his child.   His wishes were known, and ignored by the mother.

From the mother’s perspective, I see the agony of the choice.  Their child is a gift from God and it is her duty and responsibility to nurture and meet the needs of the child, which definitely includes the spiritual care.   There are two divergent thoughts here.  One, if she’s of the opinion that her child is protected in the way the Bible describes those who do not know the Law are protected, then having the child baptized without the father’s knowledge knowing his objection was for less than pure motives—to give back to God the child He gave her.  If she’s of the opinion that the gates of Heaven are closed to all those who are not baptized, then I can see how she’d neither sleep a wink nor draw an easy breath until her child was baptized.  I don’t know which is her school of thought, but whatever it is, it speaks to the purity of her motives.

Either way, the situation is a tragedy.  That the father wants the mother of their child jailed.  That the mother felt compelled to act over the father’s objection.  That a secular court is being relied upon to resolve a spiritual matter.  That the greatest victim in all of this is the child, whose parents are at war over the state of the child’s soul.

The bitterness of divorce, the depth of an individual’s beliefs, can be powerful motivating forces.  When any human being is confronted with such a significant choice regarding  his or herself, the confusion and challenges in making wise decisions is difficult.  But when one is in that situation and the impact will rest on the shoulders of one’s child, the challenges become far more complex and far more difficult.  Agonizing.  Traumatizing.  And that additional weight brings additional challenges to bear on the decisions.

These are weighty matters.   And the conditions are not good ones for making wise choices.  I wouldn’t dare to presume to judge either parent, for it’s all too easy as an objective outsider to imagine both positions.  What goes through my mind most on this is a question:  Why didn’t the parents jointly seek wise counsel?

The Bible explicitly tells us in  Proverbs 1:4-6:  “A wise man will hear and will increase learning, and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsel.” (KJV)  Perhaps they did seek spiritual counseling on the matter of baptizing their child from church leaders.  I don’t know.  But it is doubtful that they did so jointly and arrived at an outcome that landed them in court with the threat of jail on the mother’s head.

I can’t believe this current situation is in the best interest of their child.  I can’t believe it is in the best interest of the father, for surely bitterness and anger are driving his desire to see the mother of his child put in jail, or in the best interest of the mother, who is surely fearful of jail and of the care of her child during an incarceration.

And what of the child, who so easily could feel (and likely does feel) responsible for the war going on with the parents and confusion and upset and tension and fear.  Kids do tend to take on these issues and deem themselves responsible though they are not.

There are no winners in this situation.  Everyone loses . .  but no one more so than the child.

Word of this came came about on the morning of Good Friday.  I think of that from God’s perspective.  This day, like that one, how His heart must ache.

Then, He knew what would come.  He saw His son berated, beaten, lied to and lied about.  He was fully aware of the abuse and the struggles, watched as Jesus carried His cross, fell and struggled to His feet; experienced fully each pound of the hammer nailed into His flesh.  Above all, God fully understood what was happening, why it was happening and what it meant.  He knew it all.  Knew and watched and suffered the full-throated brunt of every bit of it, and because He did, without doubt, He suffered even more than did Christ.

We are imperfect people and imperfect parents.  We love our children and want the best for them.  Still we err.  But God is perfect and loves His children with a depth and breadth we can’t completely conceive only glimpse.  Imagine his agony, knowing Christ’s agony.

I think of that horrendous burden, and then of this child.  I wish I could say, if in that family’s position, I would have been strong enough and wise enough to have sought wise counsel.  But honestly, I think what would have been fixed so strongly in my mind is protecting the immortal soul of my child.  Being sure that the child was in God’s hands, offered to Him and claimed by Him as His own.

It’s hard to say.  None but that family can truly answer the question of what would be done in that situation.  We can imagine, but even in imagining, we’re doing so from where we stand now.  Not from where those family members stand.  Only God knows all of the details of that for father, mother and child.

What I do know is that the wisest of counselors stood waiting.  One who had endured a parent’s ultimate sacrifice and witnessed every moment of it, suffered every moment of it, and yet managed to still love unconditionally everyone involved in it.  He lifted His son that day, carried Him, and I’m certain He carried this child and will continue to carry this child through these trials—and his mother and father.

Though surely weary and longing for comfort and rest and peace in their minds and hearts, I pray they have the clarity in judgment to seek His wise counsel.  For I am wholly convinced that above all else that is in their child’s best interest . . . and in their own.

Blessings,

Vicki

Measuring Worth by Vicki Hinze (in for Hannah Alexander)

Measuring Worth by Vicki Hinze © 2012  (in for Hannah Alexander)

Due to a death in the family, Hannah Alexander is unable to post.  All of us at Christians Read offer our prayers for comfort and peace to Hannah and her family.

 

I’m filling in for Hannah today, and while I’m not gifted with her wit and charm, I do hope you’ll find something useful to you in this post.

 

This morning on Facebook, there was an ad on my vicki.hinze.author page.  It read:  FIND OUT YOUR WORTH and offered a free calculator as a gift for doing so.

 

It struck me as hilarious.  Imagine.  Measuring the worth of a human being in such a simplistic and silly manner.   But the more I pondered on it, the sadder I became.  And I soon found myself ashamed for finding humor in something so twisted.  If this is an indicator of how we view and measure ourselves, well, is it any wonder so many are confused and depressed and stay torn up inside?

 

Oh, we all know that in our current culture “net worth” is often measured by dollars and success is defined by money, position and/or power.  I admit that I’ve never understood that.  I know too many wealthy people who are miserable, used by others and lost.  Just hopelessly lost and struggling to find some meaning in their lives.  I know too many in positions of power that spend all their time worrying about keeping it, getting more of it, and fearing every other person in the world is manipulating them trying to steal it.  What kind of power is that… really?   You don’t often see contentment or peace at the top of their lists as what they have, but you do hear a lot about them wanting both and fearing they’ll never know it.

 

There are exceptions of course.  Those who think they’re above the rules and corruption doesn’t apply to them because of their special status.  Imagine the sad day that they realize they are accountable and in that accounting, there is no spin, no excuse, no bloviating, no ducking or running.  Comeuppance doesn’t discriminate.  We reap what we sow and we are accountable for every thought, word, action or deed—and yes, inaction is an action.

 

Earlier, I’d see something like this and just chuckle and mumble, “Lord, give them a clue.”

 

That didn’t happen this morning.  I looked at this through God’s eyes.  After all, He created us each and every one and loves us all equally.  And what flooded me was a deep and intense sadness.  His child hurting, His child clueless.  His child missing the point of a personalized life mission and purpose, of a personalized, handcrafted, molded mission that is evidence of each individual’s unique position and power and success.  Those things are infused in each of us by the very hand of God.  No two are exactly the same, and no other individual in the world can fulfill an indivudual’s specific purpose aside from the individual for whom it was crafted.

 

We are all special.  We are all powerful.  We are all incalculably worthy.

 

Worth can’t be measured in money or numbers any more than the measure of a man can be taken by his words.  The true measure of a man is evident in his actions.  That reveals what’s in his heart.

 

And that’s what I saw today in these deeper thoughts, viewing through my imagined perspective from God’s eyes.  And through that prism, I saw the pain He feels at our missing the significance of our purpose and our worth.  I saw the tragedy in the culture and the people who populate it in its kind of measures.  The hollowness of it all.

 

And so I’m moved today to remind you that you have a specific mission and you were created precisely as you are to fulfill it.  You have all the traits, all the abilities and skills required, or the ability to attain them, to fulfill this mission.  You have the wisdom and strength needed to exercise the judgement necessary to do the right thing for the right reason at the right time for the right person.

 

You see, our culture tells us we don’t change the world.  But it’s wrong.  We do.  When we impact one person in one small way, that person changes, and because s/he has, s/he will impact and change another who will change another and so on and so on.  The ripple keeps going.

 

That’s powerful—and often these seemingly insignificant situations are missed.  We diminish the value of them because we don’t recognize the value of them.

 

But if we pause just for a moment, we can position ourselves to see these things as God does—and to Him, I sincerely doubt any are insignificant.

 

What is the value of:

 

A kind word to someone lonely who hasn’t had human contact for a time?

 

A “well done” to a child who only hears what a rotten kid s/he is?

 

A smile to someone who has no one to smile at them?

 

A sincere “How are you today?” from someone who actually wants to know and listens to the response.

 

Mowing the neighbor’s yard because s/he has no mower or it’s in the shop?

 

Offering a worker a sealed bottle of water or something to drink?

 

Little kindnesses like these are said to cost us nothing.  That isn’t true.  They are treasures and cost us deeply.  They cost us something money can’t buy, no position or power can give.  They cost us a precious commodity we can’t bargain or extend.  They cost us our time.

 

Each sliver or segment is of the greatest value to us.  So when we share it, we’re giving our best.  We should realize that.  And so too should those with whom we share.

 

Measuring worth.  It’s like measuring time in a way, isn’t it?  Not in minutes or hours or years, but in moments.   Some are tender, touching, compassionate.  Some are sad, grief-stricken, shattering.  Some are joyful, elating, swell your heart until it feels too big for your chest.  But each is precious.

 

And the reason each moment is precious and it matters is because we know its worth.  What a gift it would be if in our culture we’d discover our own.

 

Blessings,

 

Vicki

————————————-

Latest Release:  NOT THIS TIME

 

GREAT THINGS TO DO ON NEW YEAR’S EVE by Vicki Hinze

THINGS TO DO ON NEW YEAR’S EVE

 

© 2007-2011, Vicki Hinze

 

Tomorrow night the door closes on 2011. For some it’s been a good year. For others, the best they can say is in short order it will be over. But for the majority of us 2011, like most other years, was a mix of good and bad. How we view it largely depends on how we view its events or what events dominated our thoughts and time (more so than the actual events themselves) and the impact those events had on our lives.

Recognizing that offers us an opportunity to look back with a little distance (thus, a little objectivity) and also with the gems of wisdom we’ve gained from all we’ve added to our personal treasure chests this entire year, and that reflection with perspective brings us our biggest opportunities of the entire year!

What opportunities?  Well, let’s think about that a sec…

 

1.  We are in a position to review.  We can choose what we want to keep in our lives and what we want to cull from our lives.  We can choose what we like and what we want to change.

Change.  We typically shudder at the word much less the actions that come with it because change means we have to move outside our comfort zone.  Even if the way things are aren’t as we’d like or they downright suck, they’re known.  Moving into the unknown carries uncertainty and that scares our socks off.  Why?  Because change often is accompanied by conflict or challenges. That makes it a pain for us, and often for those around us who don’t want us to change.  They like us as we are, even if we’re not content.  Change is work.  We’re tired already, but if we’re not content , we’re not going to get content by staying on a treadmill where we’re not content.  And if we don’t do the work necessary to get off the thing, the simple fact is we’ll stay on it.  So we have choose:  park and pay, or move and endure until we are content.  You can gloss it over all you like, but facts are facts.  You want different?  Create it, deal with challenges and conflicts and revamp until you are content.  Others will accept or reject it.  That’s their choice.  You must take charge of your choices.  Bottom line, you’re responsible for them.

Change is one part recognition, one part analysis, and one part action.

You can’t get off the treadmill if you don’t realize you’re on it.  You’re stuck with being unfulfilled or discontent with life as you know it unless you recognize why you’re unfulfilled or discontent.  That means you have to look hard at your life and be honest with yourself.

Explore what has you unfulfilled, unhappy or discontent.  Once you peg the specifics, then switch your focus to solutions.  What can you do to make wise corrections to better your situation?  Once you know what has you feeling less than terrific, you’ll know what needs to be done.  Really think about your solutions.  Nail them down.  Be specific.

Here’s the thing.  You can recognize all the challenges in the world and deliberate on them for a lifetime, but if you don’t actually implement a potential solution and put it to work in your life, you’re not changing a thing to better your situation.

And that means next New Year’s Eve you’ll be sitting right where you are, complaining about the same things you complained about this year (and perhaps the year before, and the one before that). You must act.

In short, if it’s broken, fix it.

You might have to explore a few solutions before hitting on the “perfect” one for you. Some will try one thing, not like the result, and consider that failure. It’s not.  You know it didn’t work.  Try something else.  It’s okay to not like solutions and keep seeking the right solution for you.  This isn’t a one-size fits all bit of business.  We’re talking about YOUR contentment.  YOUR happiness.  YOUR feeling fulfilled.  That’s different for all of us.

Many try one thing, don’t like it, and give up or give in—and remain discontent and unhappy and unfulfilled. Who loses in that?  Why do they value their own peace so little to quit and not try again?  Only they can answer, but my heart breaks for them.  Because they think they have failed and quit trying, they have failed.

But those who say, “Well, that didn’t work, I’ll try this next.”  Those people who keep exploring will find the right potential solution for them. In a very real sense, they fail their way to success.

Now we’ve been taught that failure is a bad thing. But think about it. If you gain something–and knowing what you don’t want/what doesn’t work is every bit as important as knowing what you do want and what does work–then that’s growth, and it is success. Maybe you’re not where you want to be, but you’re closer. You know now these potential solutions you’ve tried don’t work for you.  Try others.  You dig enough, you’re going to find the perfect solution for you.

If you’ve been told repeatedly that failure is bad, then consider the previous statement your personal license to fail. Go ahead and just fail your way to success.

Before the door closes on 2011, review it, recognize the problem points for you, analyze them seeking solutions, then implement them.  Always nurture the good and cull the bad.

Again, be aware that culling isn’t always painless or welcome (others often don’t like for us to change) but each of us must do what we feel is right. We must remember that doing the right thing is easy when it costs us nothing. When we pay dearly for it, however, is when we gain the most. (Think about it.  Have you learned more, gained more from the hard knock lessons you’ve been through, or from the wins?)  Bottom line, like it or not, we are responsible for what we do and do not do, and we will be held accountable for what we do and don’t do.  We will also bear the fruit and/or burden of what we’ve done and not done.  Important to remember those little facts.

None of this is a cut-and-run license. This is an evaluate-and-cull-what’s-no-longer-constructive-in-shaping-your-life-so-you-fulfill-your-purpose license.  Doing less leaves you only with regret, and no one deserves only regret. Neither does anyone skate away from the consequences of their actions.

 

2.   Tie up loose ends.

New beginnings require we put old endings to bed. It’s hard to focus on new ventures when we’re dealing with remnants of the old. Some overlap is inevitable, but the less of the old we have to contend with in the time where our focus should be on the new, the better our odds are of improving our position and making headway on the new and of building momentum.

Momentum is a powerful force. We put down a foundation. Upon it, we build. If one section is framed, we’re limited to going any farther on that one section. If two or three sections are framed, then expansion is possible on all sections. Momentum builds momentum. So the less time we spend in the past (deal with the old and get it done) the more time we have to invest in the future (welcome the new).

So do what you can to clear the decks–and that includes accepting what you can’t change. Don’t repress it, accept it. And then press on.

 

3.   Answer this question: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

No one can have everything they want, but they can focus intently to gain what they want most. What do you want most?

Answer it. Not in general terms, but in very specific ones. Then answer this question: WHY DO YOU WANT IT AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO GET IT?

In defining why you want something, you often clarify and intensify your determination. You also often develop seeds for your plan of action.

The key here is to remember an immutable law that deals with free will. You are free to seek what you will. But you are not free to impose your will on any other. These questions should be about you. Not about anyone else. How you can improve yourself, your life, your future.

If you’re constantly replaying old unworthiness tapes, or you spend a lot of time focusing on what’s wrong in your life or with everyone else, you’re on the wrong track. Respect others and yourself and recognize that replaying those tapes over and over isn’t accomplishing a thing that will benefit you.

If you need more on this, go into the On Writing blog and read or re-read WINDSHIELDS AND REARVIEW MIRRORS.

Bottom line: Look within. Your answers and benefits lie there.

 

4.   Set a goal. Make a plan.

I won’t go into specifics here, but if you haven’t read WHY WE NEED A PLAN, I strongly suggest that you do. It’s in the On Writing blog.

Far too many slide day-to-day, going through the motions of living without investing in anything that excites them or arouses any passion for what they’re doing. That’s a problem.  It’s a poor substitution for a life. Don’t get so caught up in busy-ness that you don’t even remember your wishes, hopes or dreams. And if you have forgotten them, pull them out of cold storage, dust them off and see if they’re still your wishes, hopes and dreams or if it’s time for an update–or even an overhaul.  If it is, do it.  You should be excited about your life!

Upshot: Don’t drift, design.

 

5.   Resolve to try at least one new thing.

If you do, you might find a new passion. If you don’t, you won’t. You might be missing something that could mean a great deal to you–and the saddest thing about that is, if you don’t try it, you might never know it.

I’m reminded here of a story I heard some time ago about a guy caught in a flood. On three different occasions help came: a neighbor, a camel and a guy in a boat. On each of these occasions the man stranded in the rising floodwaters refused help, saying he was waiting on God to come help him. Well, the stranded guy drowned, hooked up with his Maker, and boy he was ticked. He demanded to know why God hadn’t come. God replied that he’d sent three different people to help. What exactly did the guy want?

The moral of the story: Sometimes we’re so fixed on what we think opportunity looks like that we fail to recognize it when it comes. Of course, that won’t happen to you if you’re open to new things…

 

6.  Adopt an attitude of gratitude.

Of all I’ve written in this post, this is by far the most important. It’s easy to fall into a hotbed of negativity or into a bad situation that sucks you dry, sows more seeds of discontent, or steals so much of your energy and focus that you grow inextricably mired in it and lose sight of what’s good and going right in your life.

When that happens, we react emotionally and that’s just not a good idea because our emotions aren’t reliable. We need balance to function with stability.

We all have challenges. No one escapes them. But if we focus only on the challenges (versus on solutions to them and other things) then we’re doomed to a very rocky, very unstable road and that is definitely not in our best interests–or in anyone else’s.

To gain more balance–which leads to more stable, less dramatic (and melodramatic) events that inflict trauma on us (and often on unsuspecting others)–we need only counter what’s wrong with what’s right. Counter the challenges with the blessings. See the good and be grateful for it.

Sometimes that’s easier to do than at other times.  I’m reminded of something Joel Osteen once said about gratitude. There are times when the best you can do is to be grateful you’re not like x. (He pointed mid-air and said like him/her–I don’t recall which. But the intent in what he said fits situations and events as well as people.) Be grateful for little things as well as the big ones.

We often learn most from the things we tag as “bad.” We all have something to celebrate.

 

7.   Where you focus, you follow.

Before you act, you think. And if you allow your thoughts to run wild and unchecked, you diminish the chances of them being in your best interest. Anyone, given enough time, can rationalize and reason himself right out of good sense–and rob himself of accomplishments and even his destiny.

If you spend your time focused on the right things, good and constructive things, you’ll be purpose-driven and accomplish. If you spend your time focused on the wrong things, on negative or destructive things, you’ll follow that path and purpose and accomplishment (not to mention happiness and contentment) will elude you.

You choose which you’ll do. You choose what you focus on and give your energy–how you spend your life. That’s as it should be.  Again, you’re responsible and accountable for it, and you will live with the joy or regret of your choices.

Now some will be busy at parties and gatherings on New Year’s Eve and that’s just terrific.  It’s also why I’m posting this a day earlier—so you have time to read and review and think about your life before the parties start.

These things I’ve shared, in my humble opinion, are worthy New Year’s Eve’s opportunities. Ones that recognize, analyze and act to position you for powerful, meaningful personal gains in 2012. And for that, and so much more, I am grateful.

Put them to work in your life—and then you’ve got all the more reason to celebrate the new year!

Blessings,

Vicki